I Believe in You

Identity Crisis

"Was there a problem with Lily Kendall's file that caused you to pull it up last week?" Lane walked up to me while I worked on paperwork during a momentary lapse in traffic.
"Oh, no. I had this nagging feeling that I'd forgotten to include something in her intake so I pulled it up to ease my anxiety." I answered smiling at her.
"Ah. I was just checking. I'd noticed you'd pulled it up."
"Oh, of course. I should have mentioned it but then everything happened with the massacre and I completely forgot I accessed it."
"Understandably so. It's completely fine." She smiled at me and walked away.
I sighed.
I couldn't tell if she actually believed me or not. I still didn't know how Brianna and Seth got ahold of my mom's full file nor if Lane knew they had it. I didn't believe it was a coincidence that they died before they could actually meet with me. Nor did I think it was by chance that they'd hidden the file under the park bench before they died.
I hadn't told anyone what I found in Lily's file simply because I didn't want anyone else involved. Conrad was very close to Lane after my mom's diagnosis. To tell him that I thought she might have purposely overdosed my mom or that she was now overdosing Lily and likely others without evidence would likely just strain our relationship.
"Hey. What are you thinking about?" Conrad asked walking up to the nurses station.
"Oh. Nothing. What's up?" I asked smiling at him.
"Lily's back." He sighed.
"Let's go see her."
I stood up and followed him down to Lily's room. She was half sitting up with the help of the hospital bed, with an oxygen mask on.
"Hi, Lily. How are you feeling?" I asked.
She smiled and nodded at me.
"Another infection?" I asked.
Conrad nodded.
She reached up to touch her mask.
"You can take it off if you feel well enough to." I nodded.
"I hate the way I'm feeling. Is this the only way to fight this?" She asked me.
"No. There are always a few different ways to fight cancer. Conrad and I are not oncologists. We can't give you a better treatment plan. You can always get a second opinion." I answered truthfully.
Conrad nodded thoughtfully.
"That's what Nic said earlier." She sighed.
"It's always an option. No one can make that decision for you. Conrad and I will happily give you all the information to make an informed decision that we can." I assured her.
"Chemotherapy will naturally make you feel badly." Conrad reminded her.
"No. I know that. This feels different. I don't know. Like it's more than it was." She insisted.
"Like it's too much?" Conrad asked looking at me.
He knew that my mother's official cause of death was an accidental chemotherapy overdose.
"Yeah. Like it's too much." She sighed.
"Please believe me."
"Of course I believe you." Conrad assured her standing up and walking to her bedside to take her hand.
"We just have to be sure that she didn't increase your chemo on purpose to combat the cancer." I told her.
"Have you mentioned how you're feeling to Dr. Hunter?"
"More than once." She sighed.
"Okay. Why don't I sit with you today and we can go over your options and if Dr. Hunter comes in we can talk to her together?" I suggested.
"I'd like that, Meghan. Thank you." She smiled at me.
Just then mine and Conrad's phone's went off.
In coming bus crash
The message read simply.
"I've got it. If we need you I'll text you myself." Conrad assured me.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Of course." He smiled.
He walked around to kiss me before running to the emergency room.
"I love how in love you two are. It's so inspiring." She smiled at me.
"We're happy. I couldn't have made it through losing my mom without him. He's my rock." I smiled back.
"He's so sweet all the time. It's so clear he's all about you. He lights up when you walk in." She observed.
"I just love him so much." I gushed.
"Anyhow, let's talk about your options." I smiled pulling my phone back out.
"Obviously there's chemotherapy which you've been doing. There's immunotherapy which would activate your own immune system to fight the cancer. Radiation. Stem cell transplant but I don't think you're well enough for that kind of surgery. Looks like multiple targeted therapies. My professional suggestion is to get a second opinion by another respected oncologist. They'll read your file in it's entirely and help you find the treatment that best suits you." I explained looking up.
"Who would you recommend?" She asked looking near tears.
"Go see Katherine Lyon at Memorial River Center in Atlanta. She's the best there is outside of Chastain." I sighed.
"Okay. Do I tell her you sent me?" She asked.
"You don't have to but you can." I answered.
"How's your breathing?" I asked looking up at her monitor.
"I feel fine." She smiled.
"Your O2 sat is a little low. I'd like to set up an oxygen tube. Just into your nose so we can still talk."
She nodded and I went to work hooking her up to the oxygen.
"Why did Conrad act like that when I said I thought it was too much chemo?"
"I'm going to be completely honest with you. My mother died of a chemo overdose. He's just concerned." I sighed.
"Why didn't you just tell me that?"
"He doesn't want to scare you. Nor do I, honestly and what happened to my mom was deemed an accident." I assured her halfheartedly.
"But you don't believe that?"
"I'm not sure what to believe. My mom was only forty six. She was a fighter and for her to be doing better one day and dead the next after a large dose of chemo. I don't know. I just wish I knew for sure."
"Meghan. It's time to go." Conrad popped his head into the room.
"How did it go?" I asked looking towards him.
"You won't believe the insanity that transpired in that emergency room over the last two hours." He sighed heavily.
"I'll be right there." I smiled at him.
"You're going to be fine, Lily. I promise. Just get some rest and I'll be back tomorrow to see how you're doing." I smiled at Lily.
She nodded.
"I am tired." She admitted.
"That's normal. Your body's fighting the infection with your weakened immune system. You need all the rest you can get."
I met Conrad in the hallway and took his hand so we could walk together out to the car.
I could feel eyes on me and could tell Conrad felt it too.
"Tell me about your day, my love." I insisted squeezing his hand.
"We had a new nurse at the desk and I don't know exactly what happened but I ended up delivering a death notification to the wrong family. I ended up spending the better part of the first hour trying to find the right family. Then Devon and I worked on a sweet old woman, then Lane tried to convince me to accept that Bell would be her surgeon."
He opened the passenger door for me before climbing into the driver's seat.
"Are you investigating Lane?" He asked me as we drove away from the hospital.
"Nic told me of some concerns she had about Lily's treatment and after mom I don't want to take any chances." I admitted.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked quietly.
"I don't have any solid evidence to take to anyone of authority and I know how close you two got while she cared for mom."
"Meghan. You are my fiancee. My loyalty is to you. You can tell me anything." He reached over and took my hand.
"I just didn't want to fight." I kissed his knuckles.
"I will never side with anyone over you. Ever." He squeezed my hand.