I Believe in You

Lost Love

"I want to see Conrad Hawkins." A woman said as I passed the examination bay in the emergency room.
"Can I help you?" I asked walking in.
"You're not Conrad so no." She hissed.
"No but I'm his partner. Conrad is on a break." I maintained my composure.
I caught her gaze fall on the ring on my right hand.
"He's in love with you." She looked at me.
"How could you possibly know that?" I sighed.
"You're wearing the ring he gave you." She stated matter of factly.
I looked down at my black and ruby ring on my right middle finger.
"I wear both of the rings he's given me." I responded glancing at my engagement ring.
"Irving. Go get Conrad, please."
"Sure, Meghan." He said walking out of the room.
"You're Catherine." I stated once we were alone.
"He told you about me?" She asked.
"He said it ended because he hit his father at the rehearsal dinner."
"Well, that's accurate." She sighed.
"Meghan, is everything okay?" He asked.
"Oh shit." He sighed looking at Catherine.
I laughed a little uneasily.
"She's asking for you to treat her. I have other patients." I told him turning and walking out of the room.
"Meghan. Meghan!" He called after me as I walked through the hallway.
"Hey, stop." He said touching my shoulder.
"Why did she know you gave me this ring?" I asked showing him the promise ring he'd given me on our first New Year's together.
"She was there when my mom gave it to me. Meghan. My love. My mom told me when she gave it to me to give it to the love of my life. It's never been on anyone's finger than yours. I've never even considered putting on anyone else's finger. It's you, Meghan. Only you." He expressed enthusiastically.
I shook my head and sighed.
"I know. I know that. I guess it's just weird knowing that she had your heart." I sighed again.
"Meghan. I need your help." Mina called.
"Okay. I'm coming."
"Are we okay?" Conrad took my hand.
"Of course we are. I love you." I kissed him.
"I love you, Meghan. So much."
"Be her doctor, Conrad." I squeezed his hand.
"Meghan!" Mina called again.
"She's going to kill me if I don't get over there." I smiled at him.
He kissed me again.
I walked over to Mina.
"You two are so cute it's nauseating." She said flatly.
"What do you need help with?" I asked smiling at her comment.
"Come on."
She lead me out to her SUV and opened the trunk revealing five golden retriever puppies.
"Puppies?" I gushed over them.
"We're taking them to pediatrics." She smiled slightly.
"This is gonna be great." I smiled picking up two of the puppies.
"Let's go." Mina also picked up two puppies and a new intern who's name I didn't know picked up the last one.
We placed the puppies in a large gated area in the pediatric wing.
"Thank you for your help." Mina said.
"Of course. I've gotta check on Lily before I take my first break."
"Lily." I said her name as I walked into the room.
"Lily." I looked around the room.
I found her curled in the fetal position in the bathroom.
"Lily!" I rushed to her side.
She turned and hugged me.
"Meghan!" She cried my name.
"I'm going to call Conrad, okay?" I asked sitting on the floor to hold her.
She nodded.
"Meghan?" He answered right away.
"Lily's having a panic attack. I need you in here." I said stroking her hair as she cried into my shoulder.
Less than five minutes later Conrad ran into the room.
He took her from me and laid her back into the bed so we could try to calm her.
"What's going on, Lily?" I asked gently.
"It was so intense today." She cried leaning on me.
"Have you called for the second opinion?" Conrad asked carefully.
"I called but they haven't called me back."
"I'll call myself." I assured her.
"Meghan and I are going to take care of you, Lily, okay?" He touched her shoulder.
She nodded.
"I'm going to give you a small sedative to calm you down okay?"
"Yeah, Meghan. Thank you."
I helped her lay back on the bed and gave her the sedative.
Conrad and I met out in the hallway after Lily finally fell asleep.
"What do we do?" He asked me.
"I don't know. I'll call the oncologist in the morning and see what's going on." I sighed looking in on her.
I rubbed my head.
"Is she okay?" Lane asked coming up behind us.
"Oh. She had a panic attack. She's having some concerns about the chemotherapy."
"We've discussed it. I can't pull back too much but I plan to adjust the dosage at the next session." She assured me.
"I'm going to have Nic hang a bag of potassium before she leaves to help regulate her system."
I nodded.
"Lily's sleeping now. We should check on Catherine." I told Conrad as Lane walked away.
"She's presenting with abdominal pain. I had Nic run a pregnancy test that came back positive but I don't think that explains the abdominal pain." He explained as we walked towards her room.
"Did you have the ob/gyn on duty do an ultrasound to figure out how far along she is?" I asked.
"Four weeks." He answered.
"No sign of miscarriage?"
"None. Perfectly healthy pregnancy."
"Maybe try an intestinal ultrasound. Check for blockages." I sighed unsure.
"It's not going to hurt." He sighed.
"I think you're overthinking it."
"I care about her and I want to fix her." He admitted.
"Of course you do. You're a doctor and you were going to marry her." I smiled at him.
"It would have been a mistake to marry her." He looked at me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because she isn't you." He kissed me.
After diagnosing Catherine with an intestinal blockage and starting her on gentle laxatives that were safe for her fetus Conrad and I worked on paperwork at one of the nurses station.
The alarm for a code sounded and I looked up to find it coming from Lily's room.
Conrad and I ran together towards Lily's room. Her heartrate pushing two hundred and her O2 level dropping below eighty meant something was incredibly wrong.
When we slammed through the door Lily was leaning against the edge of the bed before falling into Conrad's arms.
"I'm dying." She gasped as he laid her back in the bed.
"Help me."
Her heart stopped as she flatlined.
He climbed onto the edge of the bed and began compressions while I pushed a shot of epi to restart her heart and set up the bag to help her breathe.
We worked on Lily for over fifteen minutes with tears streaming down our faces.
Finally, I looked at him and touched his arm.
"Conrad. Baby, stop. She's gone." I choked out.
"No. No." He cried.
"She's gone."
He fell to the ground.
"Time of death twenty three forty nine."
I walked over and crouched down next to Conrad and we held each other as we cried over the loss of our friend, a golden retriever puppy climbing into the space between us.