tw: insinuation of suicide
When I woke up, I saw na babba and mommy were still beside me. It wasn't all a dream afterall.
"O bakit gising ka na, baby?" Babba asked and kissed the top of my head.
"Good morning ba. Idk po hehe, maybe because I'm still not used sa time na ulit." I said and felt na napabangon si mommy at niyakap ako.
"Good morning mommy!" I greeted her and gave her a kiss too.
"How about you get ready na nak? I thought pupunta friends mo today dito tapos gagala kayo?" Babba asked me.
"Oh right. Syd, Yumi, and Jayce will be coming to pick me up. How about you guys? Any plans for today?" I asked at nagtinginan naman sila.
"Ah baby, I still have to go to work, and your mommy will fix Louisse's room daw." Babba answered and looked away.
"We're going to go na baby ha? Get ready na kasi it's almost 9." Mommy said and kissed me on top of my head then they went out of my room.
As soon as I got ready, I heard consecutive knocks on my door at nagulat ako pagbukas ko.
"DANIII!!" Three girls screamed at naiyak naman ako. They hugged me and we started exchanging kwentos then dumating si babba.
"Hey Dans, I'll go na ha? I'll be late na kasi for my meeting. Goodbye, baby!" Babba said and kissed me on my forehead.
"Ingat ka po, I love you babba!" I said as she went out the door.
"Sooo, let's go?" Aya ni Syd then we all agreed. They left their things na din because they'll sleep here din naman tonight.
Once we arrived at the mall, we went straight to our favorite cafe to get some food. I was munching while we were walking, then I saw somebody familiar.
"GIAN!!" I called his attention at nalingon naman siya towards our direction. Gian, my high school friend at ex-crush na nakasama ko sa program sa France.
"Hi Daniii!! When did you arrive? Nako, ikaw ha, hindi ka man lang nagsabi. Ano ganap mo today?" He said at siniko naman ako ni Jaycel.
"Ah I just got here last night. Ikaw nga tong hindi nagsabing uuwi ng Pilipinas e. Edi we should've went home na ng sabay. Ngayon nagala lang ako with Syd, Yumi and Jayce." I said as I pointed them kaya naman nakaway si Gian.
"Anywaaay, I have to go na Dani. Someone's waiting for me pa kasi sa DQ. Next time?" He asked and um-oo naman ako. Damn, I missed that guy.
"Uuuuy Daniii, kanina pa umalis. Snap out of it na ngaaa!" Syd said and I rolled my eyes.
"Issue, I'm over him na nga oh."
"Luh ate Dani, wala naman kaming sinabi aaah." Pang aasar nina Jaycel, tsaka ko naman narealize. Shet, oo nga no?
"Heh. Tara na nga sa TimeZone!" Kako at naglakad na ulit kami.
Once we arrived there, binanatan namin agad yung games. I was having fun until I made eye contact with a familiar figure.
"Dani!" Tito Kief called me.
"Hi po!" I greeted him.
"Daddy, who is that po?" A kid asked him.
"It's your ate Dani, Kyle. Dani, this is Kyle." He introduced us to each other.
"Hi baby boy!" I said to the child.
"Hey, I'm just going to get your stuff kay tito Thirdy then we'll leave na, okay? Dani, pakitignan muna tong si Kyle please." Tito Kief told Kyle and left him with me. Medyo nakapagtataka nga lang kasi hindi ko naman kilala 'tong bata, pero sige na nga.
"Ate Dani, how was the party yesterday?" The kid asked which got me puzzled.
"Mama Ly did not come home po kasi that's why I'm guessing you had so much fun." What the heck? Is this...
"Kyle, let's go na. Dani, we'll talk some other time maybe? Thank you for looking after your baby brother. We gotta go. Take care." He said and I only gave him a sly smile as they left.
... what the fuck just happened?
"Huy Dani, are you okay? Kanina ka pa nakatulala diyan. Mauubos na namin laman ng mga claw machine di ka pa rin nakilos diyan. Are you not enjoying?" Syd asked kaya naman I got out of my trance.
"No no, I'm okay. Maglaro lang kayo diyan. I'm more than happy na nakikita ko kayong masaya." I told her at tinulak niya naman ako.
"Nagdrama pa. Miss mo kami no?" She said and giggled.
"I missed y'all... pero sana hindi nalang ako umuwi." I whispered the last few parts kaya kumunot yung noo niya.
"Hey, Aerese, whatever it is, you know you can tell me naman diba? I'm always here for you, girl." Syd said and gave me an assuring smile.
"Thanks, Alexandrine." I said and hugged her. Bago pa ako mag-isip ng kung ano at maiyak, nag-aya na kumain si Jaycel. Hindi kasi namin namalayan, mag-aala una na pala ng hapon. E hanggang three lang paalam namin kay mommy kasi may dinner mamaya.
We decided to eat na lang sa Ramen Nagi when a person caught my eye.
Is that mommy? With the kid na kasama ni tito Kief kanina? What???
"Uy ate Dani, si tita Al—" sasabihin pa dapat ni Yumi pero nakita nilang tumulo na yung luha ko. Inupo naman nila ako agad and they tried to comfort me. They even got me my favorite dish pero nothing made me cheer up. When we finished, we immediately went into the house at nakita ko agad si mommy. I ran to her and hugged her really really tight.
"Oh anyare dito? Bakit naglalambing ang batang to?" Mommy asked my friends at tumawa lang sila.
"Hindi ba pwedeng namiss lang kita, mom? Anyways, thank you for everything, mom. I love you, keep on hanging." I said and hugged her one more time then tumakbo na kami paakyat nina Syd.
"Huy girl akala ko may meeting ang babba mo?" Syd asked.
"Yun nga paalam e."
"Uy diba yung kid na kasama niya was the same kid na kasama ni tito Kiefer?" Jaycel asked.
"Hmm yeah, baka nga... Baka nga siya na yung batang pinagbubuntis ni babba before I went away." I said and started crying. Pero bago pa kami lahat malamon ng emotions ko, I told them na that I was going to take a bath.
A bath, a drowning one. A bath na wala na kong iisipin pa ulit. A bath na tatapos na ng lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko.
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Thank you for reading!
Originally published: July 21, 2019
Republished: June 7, 2024
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