Bria's Confession Session

Confession #13 Cami Chap:3

Heyyy guys👋🏾sooo to begin, I just wanna start by saying yes...I'm happy. Asf.

I got to see my baby! I got to meet Cami! I got to hold her hand! Kiss her! I got to do the things I've only dreamt about. When I met her in that mall it was a dream come true.

Sitting at the table talking to her was everything I thought it would be. While she was talking I was just thinking in my head, "Wow, she's so beautiful..." I kept staring at her lips thinking how perfectly our lips would fit together, I just was overwhelmed with the thought that the love of my life, the person who filled my chest up, My Gem, My Kitten, My Baby...was sitting right in front of me.

All I ever wanted was someone to love me. For someone to want me the way I wanted them. Cami makes me feel special because, out of all the people who were probably trying to talk to her, she wanted me. She makes me feel loved. She makes me feel beautiful.

I have my insecurities. Most of the time I hate myself. But she makes me believe I'm beautiful and if she can love me the way I am...I know that I can too.

She gave me the chance to love her unconditionally. It's crazy because I never thought in my entire life that I would feel this way about anyone else. Except this is sooo much greater. She's always on my mind, I'm always thinking about her, she's the reason I smile in the morning because I know as soon as she gets up I get to talk to her.

Sometimes I get scared of the way I feel. Because sometimes I think, "Well maybe I should cool it, because I feel as if I could scare her away," or "Moving too fast might make her leave."

But sometimes I just can't help but tell her I love her a million times a day. I want to be there because...she makes me feel something. She, herself makes me happy. Not the things she does...but the way she makes me feel. I don't wanna let go of it...and I don't wanna let go of her.

I just wanna make her happy, or help her with her happiness. I don't want her to feel alone while I'm with her. I want her to be my bestfriend, my lover, my everything. I'm trying to let her in...and she just doesn't know how hard of a task that is.

If you know me then you know...I don't like being vulnerable or telling people my feelings. Its easier to pretend I'm okay, instead of letting them know I'm hurt, it makes me feel weak. And I don't like to feel weak.

And plus I feel like people hear me...but they don't understand me. So then it leads me to close myself in, because what's the point in sharing how I feel when no one understands?

I'm scared I'm going to get hurt. I'm just...scared. I think about it all the time, I just never say anything.

I don't want her to ever feel like I'm doubting her love, which I'm not. It's just I have these thoughts that turn into questionable doubts.

I want me and her to last a while. I wanna take her to all the places her heart wants to go. I want to love her physically, mentally, and spiritually. And I get that it scares her because nobody's ever wanted her this much. But nobody's ever made me feel this much. And I would be wrong if I didn't express the way I feel.

We both have things that scare us. I just hope we can overcome them together. Because I truly love that girl. I always tell her how lucky I am to have stumbled upon a gold mine.❤️