The Story of Us | Jikook/Kookmin

18 | For The Good

A month flies in an eye blink and Jimin has a new element added to his life: familiarity. It is weird how he lost one and gained the other really quickly. 

Chul-soo is out of eye and out of sight. Since that day Jimin went to his house to talk and they had an argument, he is nowhere to be seen. He doesn't come to work, he is not at home... Jimin feels hurt, disappointed and guilty. If his friend has real feelings for him and he didn't realize to this day, then he must really be blind. He wonders what other things about people he never noticed that could have made his life a lot more easier. 

It is a hell of a month, but heavenly at the same time. Jimin doesn't find himself gulping down bottles of soju in his terrace at nights anymore, he isn't contemplating about whats and what-nots, as if he doesn't mind the life he is living right now. And he can't help but feel burdened, because he might owe (more than) half of that recovery to Jungkook. 

He has been there.

Every attempt of reaching Chul-soo that resulted unsuccessful, Jungkook has been there to console him. He has been ridiculously going out of his ways to entertain him, goofing around, doing the craziest shit to get the hint of just a smile from Jimin. And it's not cringey, it's not suffocating. It's comforting... Jimin never lets him too close, but he feels relieved, that he is suffering but at least someone would care to know that he is not smiling that day.

Quicker than Jimin realizes, Jungkook is more than a neighbor and an ex-band mate. He doesn't know where to place him, honestly, because putting labels is going to make things definitive, and Jimin doesn't want to stabilize Jungkook's presence in his life. Isn't that like... betrayal to Chul-soo? He feels like shit when he thinks about how Chul-soo took care of him for three years in Jungkook's absence, and then sees himself allowing Jungkook to do the same thing in Chul-soo's absence.

That's just... low.

Jungkook tells him to not feel guilty and that is wasn't his fault, but then that was exactly what Chul-soo had told him. It frightens Jimin how similar of patterns are ruling his life, and that he is always the consoled one, the broken one, the one that needs to be picked up. He doesn't know why he hasn't tried to be strong, why he has victimized himself instead of being someone, doing something worthy.

Jungkook hasn't been a statue the past years, unlike Jimin. He has gained a gym trainer accreditation, learned to ride the motorcycle and created his own channel of covers, where he uploads songs with just the audio portion. It's amusing to Jimin how a lot of ARMYs follow him and still comment about BTS and how much they miss the group under Jungkook's posts, but that should be of no surprise in a way... It was just Jimin that shut off all forms of social media and television for all this time, and he almost regrets it now that he sees how Jungkook has grown accustomed to his new audience and how he has managed to face the criticisms and grow immune to their poison.

That's why, when a bottle of soju comes to Jimin's mind to alleviate the regrets and what-ifs, he just thinks about how pathetic he is, and how much more pathetic it would look if Jungkook found him drinking there again (he found him once and Jimin got a big scolding, which caused him to sneak the bottles to his room instead of the terrace, since Jungkook has a free pass inside his house now), and so he drops the thought and instead plays on that piano Jungkook excitedly located in the corner of his living room when he is upset. Jungkook had been kind enough to gift it to him that night when he came over and they played music and sang songs until the morning.

Jimin doesn't understand. Why is he doing all this? Does he pity him, is he trying to redeem himself? Jungkook never talks about anything about the past, at least about what happened between the two of them... He is just a cheerful, helpful and warm guy when he is in Jimin's presence, and Jimin feels like letting go of the weight of the world when he sees Jungkook care-free like that.