The Story of Us | Jikook/Kookmin

23 | Believe In Me

[A/N: My hand hurts but it was worth it. Enjoy! :)]

Jungkook POV.

There are certain moments in people's lives where they have an out-of-body experience, where they watch their actions unfold in front of their eyes before they engage in them. It's almost like a warning from the heavens, a snippet of million moments of regret that will likely follow a single moment control failure. 

I never used to understand why people would allow themselves to that extreme of impulsiveness, until I pulled Jimin hyung into a kiss on stage that day.

I could see our fate unfold in front of my eyes right before I clashed our lips together. I could see his tears after, I could feel my heart break into piece when he'd cry, and I could envision his back as he walked away from my arms. Just like that.

And so it happened.

Then why did I do it? 

Because that experience is so intense that makes you believe that you have no way other than drag yourself into mud. I knew I was calling karma. I squeezed my eyes so tight because it didn't feel nearly as pleasing when the first moment of regret hit both of us, and then the rest of the film started rolling. I had fallen trap to my own impulses, brought on a fate of regrets. That was my biggest ever regret.

See, you expect me to learn from this heart-breaking experience after I hurt so many people, including myself. But the opposite happened.

As much as it hurt, that much it was empowering. As much as I suffered the consequences, that much I realized that this is how I'd rather live, suffering by following my heart instead of living caged in fears and maybes. Maybe I'll hurt forever, but at least I will choose to.

Which is why I don't hesitate one second when I grab Chul-soo by the collar and drag him to the garden, throw a well-aimed punch at the perfect side of his face, and watch him fall to the ground with a cry. This is one time that my impulses are at the highest control of my body, anger fuming each and single of my cells to fuel the catastrophe, so powerful that I convince myself I'm not to going to regret this.

I won't. I won't regret it.

Back to present.

My hand stays raised up in the air as I try to ignore the desperate voice of my scruples ringing in my ears for me not to do it. I tighten my fingers into the fist, watch the boy standing front of me and all the reasons I should deliver the punch flood back into my mind. 

Suddenly there are arms surrounding my waist, "please"s whispered to my chest and... The rest of the world that comes back into my sight.