DYING IN LA | WHY DON'T WE SICKFICS

EMOTIONS - daniel

warning !!
Please don't read if anything surrounding depression, breakdowns, etc. are triggering to you

just kinda sad ig lmao I was sad when I wrote this

love you all <3

Corbyn one's next hopefully !!

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Emotions confused Daniel, sometimes.

One minute he's locked in the bathroom, sobbing as his knuckles collided with the hard tiles covering the bathroom walls over and over and over again. Breaking down as everything became too much, bottled up emotions coming loose all at once. He would cry and muffle his screams behind hands and punch the walls until his knuckles bled and his head pounded and he physically couldn't anymore.

The next thing he knows, it stops. The tears stop flowing, the urge to hit something comes to a stand still. Daniel stops sniffling and rinses his face with cool water, bloodshot eyes not as noticeable and red face slowly calming down to his usual pale tone. He'd wait a few minutes, patch up his knuckles and head out.

After he got it out, he was okay. Daniel could go back to being what everyone thought he was. He would go back to the movie the boys and him had been watching, join them at dinner or come down before they left to head out somewhere. He'd laugh and smile and crack jokes, he was normal.

But after every breakdown, he lost a piece of himself along the way. His eyes usual light flickered a little more, the bags under his eyes became more prominent, the smile he'd mastered at this point seemed weaker as time went on. He was afraid. Afraid for when that light finally went out.

He stopped missing his old self after awhile, forgetting what it meant to be him. Daniel could never understand how this happened to him. How did this happen?

"I'll be back in a little bit guys." Daniel mumbled, waiting a second for a response. His heart dropped when all they did was nod, eyes still glued to whatever they were doing. Jack spared him a second to smile at him, giving him a thumbs up and yelling out a 'stay safe' and a 'love you!' before going back to yelling at Zach, both fighting over whatever was happening in the video game they were playing.

Daniel grabbed his phone and shoved his wallet in his pocket before picking up his car keys and leaving the house, letting the door slam behind him.

He sat in the drivers seat for a second, rubbings a hand over his face before he put his phone down, not bothering with music as he started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

Making his way into the pharmacy always made Daniel anxious. Anybody could see him, find out what he was picking up. The thought of the media finding out made him nervously fiddle with the bracelets on his wrist, pulling the sleeves to his hoodie down further over his hands as he entered.

The weather wasn't too bad, only being January at this point. Daniel still opted to hide himself behind his big hoodies, enjoying the odd comfort they brought him.

He waited on the short line before greeting the lady at the counter with a smile. "Hey, Hannah."

She smiled at him when he approached, "Hey! How are you, Daniel?" Hannah worked at the small pharmacy part of their local convenience store, usually always working by the time Daniel had to come in and grab his medication. She only a few years older than Daniel, getting to know him slightly over the past few years he'd been coming in.