The Catalyst | Joanne

Chapter 9

Joe was still waiting on the large, circular chair in his living room when his phone lit up once more. A message from Zoe: "Now isn't a good time to talk. Sorry. I'll call you soon."

Joe sighed. He was trying to suppress the anger bubbling inside of him, but it was hard. Ever since he had met Dianne, it was clear to him that she was special. She had so much talent and a sense of humour he had instantly adored. It had been easy to fall in love with her because she was everything he had ever hoped he would find in a girl, and more. It hurt him that people didn't see what he saw. There had been comments early on in their dance journey that had been hard to ignore; people calling Dianne out on using the wrong word or not being able to use a camera properly. Joe had made sure that he did everything he could to protect Dianne from anything negative, but she had seen everything and- as much as she claimed to be strong- it was clear that she had taken it to heart.

Their relationship had gone 'public' earlier than either of them would have liked, but it was necessary. They wanted to avoid the rumours and just be together; the two of them had made their decision as a couple and there was an understanding between them that- whatever hardships and difficulties were thrown at them- they had one another.

The door opened quietly, Dianne walking back into the apartment wiping the sweat off her forehead with the hem of her t-shirt.

Joe looked up. "Hey. Did that help?"

Dianne shrugged. "It was good. It's a nice day, actually. I just got my head down and tried my best not to think about anything. I'm going to stretch out and have a shower. Is that OK?"

Joe turned to look at her. "Why are you asking? You don't need my permission. Do what you need to do; I'll be here."

He sighed, knowing he had laced far more meaning into his reply than he had meant to. Watching Dianne walk into the spare bedroom, Joe couldn't help but wonder why the situation with Alfie's comments was bothering him so much. He had never asked Dianne to prove herself to him; he loved her exactly as she was and told her as much every chance he got. Still, a small part of him- a protective element of his personality- worried about the rapid exposure she had experienced, the new relationship she had forged with fans. It was a scary world to enter and nobody could ever be prepared. Maybe Alfie had a point.

Joe shook his head so quickly it made him feel dizzy. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and walked to the kitchen. "No. Don't you dare" he whispered to himself, desperately trying to rid himself of the thought that had popped into his mind. He walked towards the clothes rack and began to drop the now-dry laundry into a basket. Focusing on folding everything, his thoughts whirred around in his brain. He tried his best to forget, but the sense of anxiety he felt was too uncomfortable to ignore. Something seemingly so small had started to grow, an undercurrent causing waves to splash onto an unsuspecting shoreline. Joe ran a hand through his hair as he heard the shower turn off. Sighing, he picked up the basket of laundry and made his way towards the spare bedroom. He needed to fix this.

Dianne didn't deserve any of what Alfie had implied. Sure, she was new to this world but they all were once. Joe still had trouble understanding why anyone was interested in the videos he made, and he still felt out of his depth most of the time. All Dianne had done was ask someone who knew more about how to deal with her problem to help her. She had trusted Alfie and he had, without any explanation Joe could see, turned on her. The beautiful, talented, kind-hearted woman he was lucky enough to love didn't deserve any of that. As far as Joe was concerned, he would give her the entire world because she deserved nothing less.

Dianne was towel-drying her hair, already dressed in comfortable clothes, when Joe walked through the door to the spare bedroom. She looked up, her expression giving away that something about the way he was looking at her was unusual. Before she could ask, Joe had taken two determined strides in her direction, taking the towel from her hands and dropping it to the floor.

With a commanding movement, he pushed them both towards the wall, his hand firmly resting against her jaw. With his eyes now closed, Joe captured Dianne's lips. He felt her moan against him almost instantly, a sound that sent waves of electricity through his body. As the energy changed, the intensity of their connection grew; their kisses now more passionate, hands roaming over bodies, pulling and grabbing at one another's clothing. Dianne, feeling Joe's hand press against her waist, reached down to take it in her own. Naturally, her thumb began to rub gentle circles over his skin. Joe relaxed against her, leaving a little more space between them. Their lips slowed until, finally, they moved apart and opened their eyes.

Dianne's eyes searched Joe's expression for an explanation. "Wow" she whispered. "I wasn't expecting that."

Joe bowed his head slightly. "Sorry. I... I just was sat in there thinking about everything that's been going on and I thought about how much I missed you and how much I love you and I just.... I needed to show you. Sorry."

Dianne smiled softly, stroking her hand through his hair. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't know," Joe shrugged. "I just needed to show you that I love you. No matter what."

Leaning closer, Dianne pressed a gentle kiss to Joe's cheek. "Thank you. I love you too. So much." Bending down to pick up the laundry basket he had abandoned, she noticed a change in Joe's demeanor. "Hey," she said quietly, "is something wrong? Tell me." She left him for a moment, tipping the washing out onto the bed and beginning to sort it into piles.

Joe joined in, folding his t-shirts with far more care than usual. Slowly, he began to speak.

"I had a moment, while you were gone. I... I was thinking about what you'd said and what Alfie had said to you and," he took a breath, looking deep into Dianne's eyes. "I need you to trust me with what I'm about to say, OK? And let me finish before you say anything."

Dianne nodded and held out her little finger. "Pinky promise" she said with a smile as Joe wrapped his own finger around hers.

"I had a moment where I suddenly wondered if Alfie had a point." He watched Dianne's face for a moment before he continued, "I... I thought about how you've been thrown into this YouTube world and how I've exposed you to my fans and the people who watch my videos and I wondered, for a moment, if this was my fault." Dianne opened her mouth as if to speak, but closed it again and nodded at Joe for him to continue. "Then I realised how stupid that was. You've taken everything in your stride and you've just accepted the way my life works. It was my biggest fear, when I was single, that I'd find someone I loved only for them to not understand my job. But you fell right into it and you've just let me be me. Along the way, people have seen what I see and they've realised quite how special you are." He sighed, picking up a shirt and folding it carefully. "You didn't deserve anything Alfie said or tried to say to you. You're amazing, Dianne. I love you so much. I don't want you to get hurt, but I trust you, alright? I trust you."

Dianne nodded and smiled at Joe. "Thanks. I... I had a long think, too. I let Alfie get in my head when I shouldn't have done. I should... I should have talked to you about it and not him. It was on my mind and he was there, but..." she sighed. "I guess I didn't want to burden you with it. I'd already woken you up. I didn't want you to worry that it was bothering me that much."

Joe took Dianne's hand. "Never worry about that. Ever. You can always talk to me and I will always listen. Anyway, don't worry about Alfie. I think Zoe's had a few words today."

Dianne looked up. "What did Zoe say?"

Joe shrugged. "I tried to call her when you were out running. She ended the call and said she needed to talk to Alfie before she could talk to me." Dianne grimaced. Joe began to speak again before she had the chance to. "Don't worry about it. It's not your problem." He paused. "Can... can we try and forget it for a bit? The girl and the meet and greet and the conversation with Alfie and... all of it?" He looked around the room, his gaze settling on a pile of gift bags in the corner. "Why don't we get this washing sorted and then go through the stuff you got from tour? I think you need a little reminder of how special you are and how much people love you. You do what you do for a reason; it makes people happy."

Dianne smiled. "Sounds like a plan."