The Catalyst | Joanne

Chapter 44

The warm, summer afternoon air hit Dianne as she walked across the gravel driveway. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she managed to order an Uber to a street just around the corner from where she was standing.

She walked slowly down the winding country lane, trying her best to stop her tears. More than anything, she felt angry. Angry with Joe. Angry with Alfie. Angry with the world. Everything had suddenly become so complicated and she felt as if she had lost all control. In such a tense moment, the only thing she could do was walk away. For her own sanity.

The Uber arrived quickly, and Dianne slid into the back seat. The drive to the station wasn't a long one and she spent it in silence, focusing on looking out the window and trying to control her anxious breathing. She had managed to pick up her bag as she had left Zoe's house, and slid on a pair of dark sunglasses to cover her noticeably red, tear-filled eyes.

As she walked down the concourse towards the platform she needed, Dianne felt a hand on her shoulder. Half-expecting it to be Joe, she turned around quickly.

"Hi. Sorry. I, uh..."

Dianne tried her best to smile at the girl stood in front of her, phone in hand. "Hey."

The girl grinned at her. "Sorry, it's just... can I get a picture?"

Dianne nodded. Internally, her heart was racing, but she tried her best to appear calm and friendly. "Of course. Can we make it quick, though? My train's about to go."

"Yeah, no problem." She snapped a quick picture of the pair of them. "Thank you. I know you're in a rush, but you're so amazing."

Dianne smiled softly. "Have a good day" she said gently, before continuing to walk to her platform.

As the train pulled into the station, Dianne quickly found a seat in the corner of a half-empty carriage. She put in her headphones, hoping it would act as a sign for people to leave her alone. She had a lot of thinking to do, and her head was a mess. The train began to move again, and Dianne stared out of the window. As trees rushed past in a green blur, she thought about everything that had happened.

Before she met Joe, before she moved to London, she had never anticipated ever being in the spotlight like this. She had just wanted to dance; it was her first love and the thing that made her happier than anything else in the world. She had been incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to travel all over the world, performing in some incredible venues with a group of friends she would always hold dear. She had then been given the chance of a lifetime; being recognized as one of the best professional dancers in the world by being selected for a show like Strictly was a huge honour.

She had never expected that Strictly would change her life in the way it had. People recognized her (in part, she thought, because of her bright red hair) and had become interested in her. A following had developed and, over time, it had grown. Naturally, meeting Joe and becoming a part of his life had meant that, suddenly, a lot more people knew who she was. People were interested in her as a person, not just as a dancer, and the position she was lifted up to was a brand new experience.

Dianne had always been determined to be a positive role model. Young girls are so easily influenced, and she knew from experience how certain words or opinions could have a devastatingly negative impact. As much as dancing had given her a thick skin, there would always be occasions where the things people said would hurt her.

Dianne sighed. Alfie's words, all those weeks ago, had done just that. She was unsure what she had ever done to him. He clearly had an opinion of her relationship with Joe, and her influence on him. He had made it known that he thought she was somehow fame-hungry, but completely naïve about the consequences of her actions. Somehow, in his mind, she was to blame for everything that had happened.

Naïve wasn't a word Dianne would use to describe herself. Up until a few hours ago, she didn't think Joe would have either. Did he think she was weak, somehow? Did he truly believe that one little incident in which a fan had said something shocking would be enough to drive her to madness? An uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of Dianne's stomach: uncertainty. For once, she couldn't work out where she stood. She couldn't see a way out.

She was stuck. Stuck in a cycle, with one person pulling her in one direction, and others pushing her in another. She was in the middle, and entirely helpless.

The song Dianne was listening to stopped. After a brief moment of silence, Joe's grinning face flashed up. She shook her head before pressing the giant, red cross at the bottom of her screen.

///

"Nothing?" Zoe asked.

Joe shook his head and slid his phone into his pocket. "She clearly doesn't want to talk to me." He sighed. "Shit, Zoe. What the hell do we do now?" Zoe looked up at Joe, her eyes wide. It was clear her mind was currently in overdrive. "Hey", he said, walking closer to his sister, "it's alright. Just... take some deep breaths."

Hearing Joe trying to comfort Zoe, Alfie opened the living room door. Automatically, he stepped close to Zoe and took her head in his hands. Looking into her eyes, he spoke calmly.

"Zoe, you need to breathe. Like me, OK?"

Zoe nodded, and began to copy Alfie's slow breathing.

"Good. Do you want some fresh air?" Zoe nodded at Alfie's suggestion and walked into the kitchen and out the back door of the house. As she stood on the porch, she tried her best to quash the panicky sensation rushing around her body. Everything had happened so quickly, too quickly, and she felt entirely out of control.

"Listen" Joe took the opportunity to speak to Alfie once Zoe had left the room. "I... I didn't realise you had anything against Dianne. I honestly didn't see it that way. I thought you were concerned, or confused, about her jumping into all this social media stuff with me but, if it's more than that, if for some reason you really do hate her, can you just be honest and tell me?"

Alfie sighed. "I don't hate her" he said quietly. "It's just... after we met her and got to know her a bit she... she wasn't what I'd imagined. She was different, somehow, and I felt like she'd reeled you in with all this false stuff. I got the impression she was a bit reckless and a bit off the handle. I was worried about what that would mean for you. When all this started happening, I felt like I'd been proven right. I felt like this was the universe showing you her true colours." Alfie took a breath, trying his best to ignore Joe's angry stare. "I know I was wrong about her."

Joe nodded. "You were. So wrong. At the treehouse, she was so nervous to spend time with you. She wanted to impress you so much. When... when Dianne gets nervous, she gets loads of energy. It's why she's such a fun dancer, but it also means she can get loud and stuff. I think that's what she was doing then. She couldn't help it." Joe sighed. "Look, we need to put that behind us. Dianne is incredible and I'm in love with her. I know" he glanced to where Zoe was standing, "I know you know what that means. It means you'll do anything for that person. The problem is that, right now, I have no idea what I can do."

"I understand" Alfie replied. "I, uh, I completely get what you mean. And I'm sorry for what I said. I know it was out of order."

Joe couldn't help but apathetically shrug his shoulders. "I don't think sorry is going to cut it. Not to me, anyway. We need to find Dianne and calm her down, so you can say it to her face. I want to fix this situation, and that would be a very good first step."

Zoe walked back into the room, her phone in her hand.

"Feeling better?" Alfie said. "Look, I was just saying to Joe that I know what I said was out of line and I..."

"Stop" Zoe cut him off. "Look."

Holding up her phone, she showed Joe and Alfie a photograph of Dianne with a fan.

"That's what she was wearing when she left" Joe said.

Zoe nodded. "She's at the station."

"Right, well maybe I should go and see if I can get a..." Joe began to walk towards the door. Alfie stopped him.

"Mate, let me go. I... I need to feel like I'm doing something to help. What time is the next train?"

Zoe checked her phone. "In 20 minutes. You'll need to hurry." Alfie nodded and grabbed his car keys, before racing out of the house.