The Catalyst | Joanne

Chapter 36

"We need to talk." Four words that punched fear into Joe's heart. He tried not to physically recoil as Dianne spoke, instead nodding timidly.

"OK. If that's what you want to do. Do... do you want to freshen up or anything?"

Dianne shook her head. "No, but I don't really want to have this conversation in the bathroom. Can we go up to bed?"

"Fine by me. Let me just lock up down here and I'll join you."

Dianne left Joe downstairs. As she walked up to the top floor of his apartment, she thought about everything she needed to say. Everything she needed to ask. The evening's events had been a wake-up call for her; a sign from the universe that- whatever she was about to face- she couldn't do it alone.

Walking into the bedroom, their bedroom, Dianne sighed. This room had been the place where so many of their memories had been made; their first proper kiss, their first declaration of love. Every night they had spent together had made her feel special; safe, wanted and secure. As she sat down, pulling on the comfortable t-shirt she kept under her pillow, she hoped that this night would be exactly the same.

Joe entered the bedroom and sat down next to Dianne. Watching their reflections in the windows ahead of them, he reached over and took her hand.

"So" he began, "what do you want to talk about? I'm just going to listen, if that's what you need me to do."

Dianne turned to face him. Her eyes were darker in the dim light, and Joe automatically felt himself being drawn closer to her. "Well, I think I owe you a huge apology" she said, "for last night. And for how I reacted this morning. I... I know I've been more reckless than usual lately and I know things would have been so much easier if only I had listened to you. But" she paused, noticing how Joe swallowed thickly at her words, "but I've had a long time to think. This whole situation recently has been really hard for me and, to be honest, I've hidden a lot of it from you. I guess, in the beginning, I did blame myself. I know this world is different and I know I've done what I always do and jumped in feet first, but I only did that because you were there. You're my rock, Joe, you always have been, and I really..." she paused, feeling herself becoming upset again, "I need you to understand that I'm not OK. I'm scared, Joe. Really, really scared."

Joe reached out and took Dianne's hand as her bottom lip began to tremble. Looking into his deep blue eyes, she found the strength to speak again. "Tonight, I was in the studio on my own and I heard footsteps. I... I didn't open the door, but then a note came through. It just said 'sorry' and I knew it was from her. I... I chased her, Joe. I left the room and I chased her. She went across the road and I followed. I didn't look, and I know I should, and the next thing I knew I was on the floor." She sighed loudly, her shoulders lowering visibly. "That could have been the end, Joe. I could have died."

"Don't-"

Dianne cut Joe off with a raised hand. "I could have, though. That car could have hit me at full speed and I never..." she stopped, tears now beginning to roll down her cheeks, "I never would have got the chance to..."

Joe flew forwards, wrapping his arms around Dianne as she sobbed into his shoulder. "Shh" he whispered, rubbing her back, "it's OK. I'm here now, alright? And it didn't happen. You're home and you're safe. That's all I care about right now." Joe blinked back his own tears, knowing he needed to stay strong. For her. For both of them. Everything he had wanted to say could wait; right now, all he wanted to do was hold the girl he loved in his arms.

Dianne nodded into him, continuing to cry. Joe shuffled back, laying them both down on the bed. "It's alright" he whispered, "I'm here."

After a while, Dianne's sobs began to subside, replaced with heavy silence. Joe looked up at the ceiling as he held her close, wondering how on earth he was going to fix any of this.