The Catalyst | Joanne

Chapter 31

Dancing had always been Dianne's escape.

It was medicinal, almost, the way the movement of her body in time to the music could carry her away from anything. When she didn't have to follow choreography, or be led by someone else, she could truly lose herself and exist in her own little world.

If only for a short while, she hoped it would help her forget the horrible thoughts that had been milling around in her mind the entire day.

Since she had opened and read the letter, since she had truly absorbed Alfie's words, her life had changed. She had changed. Joe had been right in what he had said to her. She was empty: a shadow of her former self. She was always conscious now. Conscious of trying to say the right thing. Conscious of being scrutinized. Conscious that she was never going to be good enough. For anyone.

It was exhausting to be so alert all the time. Gone were the days of being able to laugh at the comments she made without truly thinking. Gone were the soft eye rolls and affectionate kisses Joe would give her when she made a mistake. Now, she backed away. She couldn't laugh it off anymore. Every little, stupid comment she made, every thoughtless mistake was another reason why she should step back from the limelight. Step back from Joe's life and everyone in it.

Alfie had been right. She wasn't suited for any of this. This world she had made for herself, riding on the coat-tails of Joe's success and their popularity, was crumbling. Crumbling under the weight of her own stupidity.

Dianne took a breath, listening to the tempo of the music, preparing to move. Every feeling seemed to pour out of her as she danced; the melody pulling her confusion and her anger right to the ends of her outstretched fingers, the light beat of the baseline matched by the rhythm of her feet as she turned, and turned, and turned, emotions flowing out of her, surrounding her like cotton candy being pulled around a stick.

The mood of the music changed. The beat became stronger, the pitch lower. Dianne focused for a second, before stepping backwards and lifting her arms. The music surged, pulling her body with it. It only took a moment, but before she knew it, Dianne felt light. She raised her leg, pointing her toes and holding it there for a moment, before pulling it back and using the momentum to lead her body into a perfectly executed turn. The song ended, and Dianne stood for a moment, just letting herself feel.

Dance truly was the best medicine.

As she opened her eyes and looked up, she realised Joe was stood in the doorway. Slowly, he walked over to her, holding her waist gently. "You're smiling" he said to her. "You look so beautiful when you dance, but you look incredible when you smile."

Dianne's eyes met his. "I just needed to do something I was good at. I... I just had this urge to dance and, well..."

Joe's fingers traced lightly over Dianne's jaw, his thumb brushing against her cheek as he brought his lips closer. Pressing them against her forehead, he breathed deeply. "I'm so lucky to have found you" he whispered. "So lucky."

"Do you mean that?" Dianne asked. "I mean, I just..."

Joe took her hand. "Of course I do. You mean everything to me, Dianne."

///

While Dianne was in the shower, Joe set about making dinner for the pair of them. There wasn't much in the fridge, but there was enough to throw together a basic meal. As he cooked, he thought back to watching Dianne dance. She was always happiest when she was active, he had learned early on in their partnership that she could hardly sit still, but dancing transformed her. Joe had fallen in love through dance, and he simply adored the way Dianne moved. He smiled to himself. He knew he was incredibly lucky to get to witness Dianne like that, to witness the moments where she threw aside any vulnerability and let herself be.