inside view

My choice

Sorry I couldn't write yesterday. I had a lot going on today to. I just got me a pair of glasses and I know what the world looks like now

July 22: so I told you that j would tell you what I chose. I would never pick in between my friends and him. So if there not with me then I'll pick death. I rather die and because of how focus my mom is on my dad and my dad is on my sister who doesn't care about me. There is nothing stopping me. I'm only alive because of him and once hes gone. What do I have. No friends. No family. Nothing. I'm becoming more relentless. I pushed my dad away yesterday. I'm pushing myself away I cant trust me. The scars on my wrist I blame the cat for. I blamed everything but me. Some of my friends know. There the only ones thatnwont leave me alone because if they do I'm gone. I only want one thing In my life so I made enlist of what I really want and what I really need. It's short

1: true friends
2: to smile
3: a home that I'm not scared of that I wont run from
4: a person to respect my decisions
5: a person to respect me and love me for who I am

I found 5 now who would try and help me find the rest. I dont know how to even love me so I dont know why he likes me. I got go post more tonight or tomorrow. Please tell me what I should do when I dont know

I help other people with there problems so I dont have to deal with mine. This happens anytime someone or something good happens to me. All I want is happiness exception and my grandmother. But I'm going to get any of that any time soon

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