FTRS/RAR One-Shots

Jilly-Avoiding (& Being Avoided)

So I've noticed I write a lot of fanfic where Jax makes the move so it's time to change that up a bit----Credit to @FTRS_FANGIRL on pinterest, for her headcannon. With her permission I have adapted it to this fic.

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JAX

"Jax?"

Jax swore under his breath and ducked into the nearest hallway just as it shimmered and reappeared, taking him with it. As always, Jax knew his way around the halls better than anyone at school, and was relieved to find that this new location was far from where he'd been. 

Where Gilly had been following him.

He headed towards the boy's dorms with a growing feeling of guilt he'd gotten used to as the month progressed. It had been hard and uncomfortable at first-he'd made lame excuses, ditched the group when possible. Now he just made sure to evade her if she was seeking out one-on-one time with him, or even just him in a smaller group. 

It hurt too much.

He knew his avoiding her had left her feeling confused and sad-she was probably wondering why he'd suddenly stopped spending time with her. His partner in crime. His best friend. 

Jax still had classes with her-and if the whole group was together, it wasn't as hard. But still, too often he found himself staring at her, the way her hair glittered in the sunlight, the way her blue eyes sharpened with pleasure, the way she wore her confidence like armor. 

He loved her. 

He knew it with absolute certainty-every moment he spent focusing on her was a moment spent trying to remember how to breathe, suffocated by the thousands of feelings erupting through his chest. 

It had all happened a few weeks ago. A rainy day in April, with the gang crowded in Harlow's quarters after school curfew. Jocelyn liked to sneak them in just before curfew, so the group could hang out after hours without getting caught by Miri. Harlow was pretty cool about it as long as she charmed her door so she couldn't hear them through it.

Anyway, the group had been chatting and laughing, discussing what had been going on with classes, teasing each other about the crushes, and watching as Kayla and Ollie snuck glances at each other ever so often.

By then, Jax had recognized and identified his feelings for Gilly, but he was doing his best to subdue them. But that night, she had looked so gorgeous, even in her commoner pajamas, and so confident, and calm. She was smiling her trickster smile-the one that had made him fall in love with her in the first place. She laughed, turning her sparkling cobalt eyes on him, and Jax couldn't breathe.

He'd spent the rest of the night staring firmly at the ground, not really joining in any of the group's conversations, waving off Ollie's concern. He was tired, Jax had said. He just needed to sleep.

Of course that excuse didn't fool Gilly. 

She knew he could stay up till 3 a.m. and still be in prime condition at 7:00, his hair slicked back and his uniform pressed and cleaned. He was never tired. She'd tried to catch him as he left, but Jax just couldn't talk to her. 

Later that night, lying in bed, Jax had mentally laid out his feelings as plainly as he could. But no matter how he puzzled it, he couldn't find a way to explain it to Gilly. 

The days had continued. Jax still made an effort to smile at her, made small talk, but he knew he was acting subdued and inconsiderate. He knew he was hurting her-and that knowledge hurt him. But how could he explain his feelings to her? He wouldn't know what to say.

He had just reached the stairs to the boy's dormitories when he heard a voice that stopped him in his tracks.

"Jaxon Porter, turn around."

Jax shut his eyes, mentally berating himself. Of course she knew how to find him. For once, he regretted teaching her the ways of the halls. He slowly spun toward her.

Gilly had her arms crossed defiantly over her blue school uniform. As usual, the color brought out the teal in her eyes and the curl of her cascading hair. She looked angry. "We need to talk."

Jax forced himself to calm down. "Ok."

"Why have you been avoiding me?" 

"I haven't been avoiding you." he felt a twinge of guilt.

"Uh huh." though Gilly was flaunting her usual cavalier attitude, he knew her well enough to detect the sadness and hurt behind her words. "What's going on with you? Is it something I did-"

"No!" Jax blushed at the rushed snap of word. "No, no, it wasn't your fault. You could never do anything..." he trailed off, suddenly blushing.

Gilly looked confused. "If it wasn't something I did..."

"It's my fault. I'm just-forget it, I-"

"Jax." she took a few steps toward him, her expression the picture of concern. "What's wrong?"

Jax said nothing. What could he say? 

"You're not sleeping." Jax blinked at Gilly's random phrase. She frowned at him. "Your eyes are shadowy, and your hair isn't brushed."

"I'm just-"

"Look, I won't pry. I just want to know what's going on with you because I care about you."

"That's the problem. I do too."

Gilly blinked. "I should hope so. We're friends. Friends care about each other."

"I know, but..." he trailed off in frustration. "Do friends keep thinking about how beautiful you look in blue?" he said finally, relieved it wasn't as rushed as it felt in his head. "Or how your eyes sparkle when you make a joke? Or how you face challenges with that awe-inspiring look, or how you pick fights with anyone, and it shouldn't be endearing but it is? How you always make stupid decisions, and don't care what anyone thinks, and you're always looking out for your friends and for me-"

She was staring at him with an open mouth, looking confused. Jax couldn't help noticing how pale her lips were, and soft they looked in that delicate o of surprise. 

She knew now, of course. 

But maybe it wasn't too late to save his rambling-to play it off as tired, or delirious, or something. Suddenly admitting his feelings felt even more embarrassing than before. He opened his mouth to try to form some sort of excuse-

And felt her leap up those few inches of height he held over her and kiss him.

Jax was so surprised he stumbled, crashing into the door to the boy's dormitories. Gilly's lips were hesitant, coaxing his open, and Jax couldn't help kissing her back.

He was lost in sensation-in all of his fantasies that he hadn't dared explore more than a few seconds, in the admiration he held for her being able to make the first step, in the amazement that she, as always, had known exactly what he wanted, and had made it happen.

Jax no longer felt scared as his hand drifted to the back of her head, softly brushing against her dark hair. Even without sight he could feel, like a rebellious streak, the stripe of purple in her sea of brown.

He would've been happy kissing her all afternoon, and probably would have, had he not felt the doorknob twisting, heard it click. Jax pushed away from the door, taking Gilly with him. They were both breathless as the door opened and two boys exited the room.

Jack and Ollie.

Jax and Gilly broke away took quickly and put too much space between each other too slow. 

One look at their heavy breathing, Jax's mussed hair, and Gilly's rigid stature and what they had been doing was clear.

Jack was openly grinning. "Man, I can't wait to tell Jocelyn."