Why Dont We Imagines & preferences

Me.

Okay so I know most people don't read this. I know I don't usually read the stuff like this, but I feel like this is one of the only places I can talk about this.

The reason I haven't been updating alot is because I'm not in the best mental health state. Now, im not in a bad one, im just not in a good one. Not to long ago I was hurt by some people I held very close to my heart and am still being affected by it. I developed trust issues but not the normal kind of trust issues, "I love and accept everyone. I welcome everyone in with open arms. I go out of my way to make people feel both happy and comfortable...but I dont trust anyome to be there for me when I need 'em most."

I swear, thinking like that has got me knee deep in some shit I cant even explain because I dont even know whats happening. I'm just not happy. I'm not depressed, no. Just, not happy. Im not happy with myself. I've had insecurities since I can remember, always thinking myself to be a little to thick for peoples liking. I'm getting better with learning on how to love myself for who I am. That also brings us to my next issue.

I'm an overthinker. Big time. Especially when it comes to guys. See, when I fall, I fall hard and quick. I've fallen for a guy who I know for a fact doesn't feel the same way. Even though I know this, I can't bring myself to move on from him. When I overthink, its usually 'okay, what if he is talking to other girls? Or what if he found someone prettier then me, or is he just to nice to tell me to fuck off? Or is he just losing interest in me?' etc. I think overthinking is where most of my issues come in.

I'm also leaving my old school to go to my brothers school. It's a big change and a big oppurtunity because I was offered a lead singing position in their school band. I'm not a public singer. I also have to move. There is alot of changes happening with me right now and I don't know how to feel about that. I know I'm ready for change and to take this, but I don't know if I'm ready to leave the only friends and family I've eveer known.

Anyways, right now, all I need you guys to know is that I'm going through some stuff, and im not happy right now, but I'll get better because I know it'll take time, and I'm willing to take time to work on myself. And right now, just typing all this out, has made me feel 10x better. So thank you all who actually read through this, and to those who didn't, I hope you step on a lego...

jk. I hope you guys all have a a goodnight/morning/afternoon/evening.