Perception of Trust

E I G H T

"I'm sorry darlin' but Dr. Patel is out until next week. Would you like to leave her a message, or schedule an appointment with her?" The receptionist asks me while shuffling through some papers.

"Uh... Could you just tell her to call me as soon as she can?"

"Dr. Patel is quite busy I don't know if she'll remember." The receptionist answers.

"Okay, than can you just schedule me for an appointment with her?"

"Sure thing. I'll put you down for Monday morning."

"Alright, thank you."

I leave the office disappointed.

I order another Uber to my building. I allowed my mind to wander and fill with thoughts as the driver took me to my dorm building. If Kennedy really was pregnant, then that would explain a hell of a lot. Her strong sense of smell, her soreness and crankiness, her chronic hunger... How did I miss it?

Once the Uber dropped me off at my building I decided to go back to Amina's dorm and spend the rest of the weekend with her. I knew staying alone in my own room would only lead to me thinking about too much.

Arriving to Amina's room door I knock a few times, but I regret my actions once I hear multiple voices laughing and talking. I thought she had guests over, until I realized that Sierra, Brianne, and Ashley were the ones laughing and talking behind the door. Upset with myself I punch my fist into my open palm and roll my eyes. The last people I wanted to see right now were Ashley and Brianne. Sierra and I made up after the little confrontation we all got into, but Ashley and Brianne have yet to apologize, reach out, or care. Even at Kennedy's funeral yesterday, they did not bother to say hi or anything.

"Nicki!" Amina squealed while hugging me.

"Guys, Nickeya is here!" She says to the three of them.

No one bothered to greet me but Sierra.

"Alright, y'all know I don't like conflict! Y'all need to squash this now!" Amina says raising a stern voice.

"Ion got nothing to say..." Ashley says lookin around.

"Me either, I said what had to be said the night of Kennedy's vigil." Brianne adds.

"You guys are acting real immature right now." Sierra says eying the both of them.

Ashley and Brianne did not make it to the vigil until it the complete end after most of the people had left; that was already a big sign of disrespect carelessness to me, aka strike one. Strike two hit when I realized that they came in black and white outfits, with more than 75% of their outfit being black, I found violating the dress code as a big sign of disrespect as well! Yet, out of all the things they did, my last string snapped when Ashley had the audacity to try and change the topic.

We were all on our way back to their house. I was still a bit teary eyed from the night, so we began to share funny memories of Kennedy with one another. When I opened my mouth to reminisce and tell Brianne and Ashley about the lovely little speech Kimani gave, Ashley said 'Ugh! This Kennedy...thing is getting so depressing! Can we talk about something that makes you less of a crybaby?' and instead of just keeping shut, Brianne and threw in their two cents, and allowed Ashley to start a new conversation about her "Boyfriend". For a while, Amina did not see anything wrong with what they did until I sat down and told her how I saw it. To anyone else it sounds like they are just trying to help me cope and move on, but I saw their comments coming at me with a whole lot of shade and sass.

I'm probably being paranoid or overdramatic, but it seems like most of the people around me are just expecting me to mourn Kennedy's death for a day or two, and then go on about my life and forget that my heart is broken, which upsets me so much. Especially coming from the people I hold dearest to me and confide in the most.