Ruin (boyxboy)

Let Me Save You

        Drugs suck. Running 5 miles for a warm up? Yeah, sucks way harder.

-Austin-

“Carlile!” Coach Dawson yelled. “Where’s your head this morning, huh? Focus!”

 I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Right. Focus. So don’t think about ginger hair and mega-watt smiles and what that smile would feel like if it was directed at me and how it would feel to run my fingers through his hair as I -

 “Carlile!” I was brought back  to earth and had just enough time to swing the bat and make contact with the baseball. I seriously needed to stop getting distracted by him. What the hell was wrong with me? By the time I had finished, I had enough bruises from not hitting the ball to last me a lifetime. Not a very good sign for the star batter of the University team.

 “Where were you today?” Kellin asked, throwing off his clothes and getting into the showers.

 “Not present,” I grumbled, doing the same.

 He snorted “Well you better get present if we wanna win the series this year.”

 I hated talking about the future. What was the point anyway? I nodded and grunted at him.

 “Yeah, you’re right.” Once I was done showering, I went to one of the many school coffee shops and got a protein shake. Two classes and then I could see Alan. He would have read my note by now, so he’d either be pissed or smiling.

 I hoped he was smiling. In fact, I hope as soon as he read that he started smiling and forgot how to frown.

~~~~~~~~~~~

 “Lunch.” I pushed a pile of food towards Alan and he just shook his head.

 “Not hungry.” he said and pushed the food back towards me and crossed his arms over his stomach.

 “Bad first day of classes?”

 He glared.

 “Wanna talk about it?” I offered.

 “I can’t.” he looked nervously around the cafeteria. Everyone was gawking at us like we had just decided to adopt half of Brad Pitt’s twenty children.

 “I’ll take care of it.” I sighed and sent a quick text to Jack. He hated covering for me, but at least it got people to stop staring.

 I watched Jack across the cafeteria, talking animatedly with Alex. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, scowled, and threw down his newspaper. He started walking towards us, and after two or three strides he collapsed on the floor. Everyone gasped and turned their attention to Jack.

 “Okay, now no one’s staring.” I nodded at Alan “What happened during class?”

 “Uhm, is he alright?” she pointed at Jack.

 “Low blood sugar.” I looked away for a brief moment and cleared my throat “So, class?”

 “Should we get someone to check on him?” he looked around nervously as he got out his phone. I grabbed his wrist and shook my head.

 “He’ll be fine in around ten minutes, or as long as it takes you to tell me your story.”

 “O-okay.” he kept staring at Jack and began, “I raised my hand in class, but the teacher reprimanded me for correcting him.”

 I winced.

 “And I made two new friends.”

 I smiled. He didn’t.

 “Let’s just say they’re a bit more friendly than you are.”

 I swear I just saw two deaths, courtesy of me. “Who were they? Did they touch you? Hurt you? I’ll kill them, seriously, I’ll-” I stood and started frantically looking around the cafeteria for any punk freshman that was staring at him cross-eyed.

 “Oh my god, sit down, you’re embarrassing me!” his face turned a shade of bright red as he covered his face with his hands. He looked back up at me.

 “I told them I had a boyfriend, case closed.” he giggled at my anger.

 “I meant friends who were girls, not guys” Blood roared in my ears.

 “Well,” he threw his hands up in the air frustration “they were the only ones that approached me!”

 “I bet they were.” I grumbled. So apparently there were a lot more gay freshman than I thought.

 “Austin?” He called me Austin, just Austin. I could die happy right there. Most people just called me Austin. Some felt the need to add my second name, like Alan did up until now. You know, kind of a formal thing because of my dad. I hadn’t told him it was okay. It seemed natural, like a sign that our friendship was real, not something I’ve forced upon him. It didn’t feel, well, formal.

 My smile grew as his eyes narrowed “What?”  he asked.

 “Nothing.” I grabbed his hand and kissed it “just happy.”

 “That I failed your little list?”

 “No failure.” I shook my head “You tried and that’s what counts.” His nostrils flared as he grabbed his bag and stood up.

 “I gotta go.” he stated.

 “Sit.”

 “No.”

 “Sit.” I jerked him down to the seat softly. I could feel his pulse: it was erratic, angry even.

 “I’m not sorry.”

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he snapped.

 “You remind me of my brother.”

 “Huh?”

 “Coma. Died.” I explained, “Overdosed.”

 “Gee, thanks.” He said through gritted teeth.

 I pushed back the dark thoughts of my brothers demise, barely holding it together by a thread.

 “Depressed, talented, awesome, my favorite person in the world... He was all of those things. And you - you remind me of him. I don’t know why, but you do. So yeah, I’m pushing a little, but I know you can take it. Tell me you’re strong enough to take it.”

 “You don’t know me.” His voice was hard. It had an edge that I wasn’t used to hearing from guys I was interested in.

 “I do.”

 “You. Don’t.”

 I released his hand. “better than you realize. Listen, I’m not one to sugarcoat things, and I sure as hell don’t have time to be that guy. The one who waits for weeks to finally crack all your defenses. I’m different. Maybe I’m too intense. I get that. My methods are crazy. But I’m drawn to you - and, honestly, you need me.”

 “I don’t need anyone.” he whispered, sounding less sure of himself by the minute.

 “You do.” I said. “And I’ll wait ‘til you say it to my face if it takes that for you to realize that.”

 And with that, I got up from my seat and left him. I’d keep writing my notes. I’d keep pushing him.  Maybe if I could save him - I let out a rugged breath… maybe in saving him I’d be saving him.

I couldn’t then, but I can now.

(A/N): Still don't own anything, basically all credit goes to Rachel Van Dyken. SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE YESTERDAY, WATTPAD WAS BEING A BITCH but yeah enjoy this chapter and the next one is pretty fun too so you know hint hint nudge nudge etc