Ruin (boyxboy)

Ruin

        For some reason I wasn't scared… it was weird. An eerie peace descended over that room and I couldn't explain it.

-Alan-

  "I'm sorry." Austin kissed my forehead.

  I turned to face him. "For what?"

  "I told you I'd help you with some of the list." He laughed and shook his head. "Ways to live… Damn, I thought you knew my secret right then and there."

  I shrugged. "We all suffer deaths in our lives right? We all suffer with darkness… mine was just different than yours."

  "But not any less serious." Austin touched my cheek. "At any rate, I'm sorry we didn't finish everything."

  I pulled away. "Are you talking about the cranberry sauce? Because we had that at Thanksgiving."

  "No." He bit down on his lips. "The other stuff."

  "Hmm…" I'd been keeping the list in my pocket since he'd been in the hospital. The paper was crumpled and had clearly seen better days. I carefully unfolded it and showed it to Austin. "The list is done."

  A line was drawn through every last thing except for what I knew Austin was talking about. "You have a pen?"

  He gave me a confused look, then reached to his tray where he'd been playing tic-tac-toe with Aaron and handed me the pen. Emotion clogged my throat as I carefully drew a line through Fall in love, then drew another line through Get heart broken. Austin inhaled sharply as my pen hovered over the last line. This time I circled it.

  Fall in love anyways.

  A tear rolled down my cheek and landed on the piece of paper.

  Austin pulled my face toward his, cupping my cheeks with his hands. "I love you, Alan."

  "I love you too," I choked out. "So much it hurts. It actually hurts."

  He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to mine.

  "You're going to marry me someday."

  "Oh, I am?" I said through my tears.

  "Yup." He smiled. "I'm going to get down on one knee and I'm going to ask you to marry me. I'm not a very patient guy, so I'll let you do two years of school before I pop the question, no more than two years."

  "What if I don't want two years?"

  His eyes opened.

  "What if I want now?"

  Austin chuckled lightly. "And have your Uncle Jobob hunt me down? I'd rather not…"

  "Fine, one year." My eyes narrowed in a silent challenge.

  "One year from this day…" Austin whispered.
  I nodded.
  "And you'll be saying I do."
  "And we'll keep our own time." I closed my eyes and memorized the feel of his face in my hands. "And we'll adopt three kids."
  "Four," he argued. "Always go for an even number."
  "And we'll live—"
  "Wherever the hell we want."
  "But I will need to finish school." I sighed and kissed him on the cheek. "Even though you're loaded, I have to finish school — I chose a major."
  "You did?" Austin sat up. "Why didn't you tell me?"
  "It was a surprise." I grinned through my tears. "Want to know what it is?"
  "Teacher?" he guessed.
  "Nope."
  "Erotic Dancer?"
  I laughed. "Is that a major?"
  "It should be."
  "Music," I whispered. "I want to do music. I want us to do music, together. Music has helped me so much, and I know it's helped you. I want — I want to help people like you helped me. I want to help them push away the nightmares, the darkness. Give them their escape. I want to rescue them, like you rescued me." I felt more tears stream down my face. "You rescued me and I found my ruin." I bit down on my lip. "I'm ruined for you — and I won't ever be the same. It's the greatest gift anyone's ever given me."
  He wiped away my tears. "Ruin?"
  "Yeah, a ruin, because in helping me knock down all those demons, you built me back up again. And for that, I'll never be able to repay you."
  "Which is why we're having four kids, not three," he whispered.
  I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you."
  "I love you too… being with you has been the greatest gift anyone could ever give me, and to think it was all because you assaulted me on your first day of class."
  "I did not—"
  "Shh, Kitten." Austin's lips touched mine. His tongue tasted like champagne. I kissed him back with everything I had inside of me. The kiss wasn't the end. It was the beginning, the beginning of our life together.
  We kissed until my mouth was swollen from his lips. He tasted every part of me, yet refused to take what I wanted to give him most — myself. He said he wanted something to look forward to when he woke up.
  Leave it to Austin to use sex as a reason not to die. I had to laugh at his explanation. Then the laughter faded to soft gasps and quiet sighs as his hands roamed all over my body, kissing my chest, my arms, my fingers, he even ran his hands up my calves, kissing the back of my shoulder blades, as if shoulders were so special they deserved attention too.
  I moaned when his mouth returned to mine and twisted my hands in his dark hair. Our tongues danced, our mouths pushed, lips pressed, bodies as close as our clothes would actually allow us. I fell asleep with my mouth on his. He fell asleep with his hands bracing my hips.
  When I woke up, I was starting the countdown until I married that man. A year from that day.
  A year from December fifth, and I was going to be Mr. Alan Carlile.

(A/N): I own nothing that may be recognized, basically all credit goes to Rachel Van Dyken. OKAY TWO THINGS. QUICK COMMENT I'M GOING TO SEE A MOVIE SOON, BIG HERO SIX OR MOCKINGJAY?? ALSO I BROUGHT TICKETS FOR WARPED YESTERDAY, I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED (even though it's like seven months away oops) AND LIKE I'M SEEING PTV AND SWS TOO I'M SCREAMING