Ruin (boyxboy)

The Note

        A gift? A curse? Who knew… but time was running out.

       

         -Austin-

  I groaned over the toilet, losing my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and that protein shake I had just choked down. I hated throwing up. It made me feel like a little kid all over again.

 My mom had always been there when I was sick. Now it was just my dad. And he sent people to do his work. He obviously had better things to deal with than his son tossing up his cookies. I’m glad I was sick all night, it helped me get all of it out of my system before practice. Even on my worst day, I was still better than half the guys out there.

 Not to sound self centered, though.

 I shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard, especially with the new meds, but I’d wanted to help Alan. His innocence called to me, just like his darkness. I mean damn, I could almost see that dark cloud billowing over his perfect little ginger head.

 Woah, woah, woah. Perfect? Slow down, Austin!

 I’d lived through that and more. Sometimes his smile was fake, other times he was so concerned with what others think that I wanted to shake him. Maybe from the outside it didn’t appear that way, but his eyes, the way they would focus on everything, almost as if staring at something for too long might bring unwanted attention to himself.

 It was weird, seeing a boy who physically screamed Look at me! But cowers into himself.

 Friends?

 Hell no.

 I was probably the worst idea for him, the worst friend in the entire universe. I’d end up breaking his heart regardless. So I knew I may as well make it as painless as possible.

 Since I was clearly lacking in the self control department, I’d be the best damn friend he’d ever have. I just couldn’t attach myself romantically. After all, he had a full and happy four years of school life ahead of him, whereas I was done in a few months.

 I threw my practice jersey on and grabbed my keys. I hated walking to practice. Because of the university being right on the pacific ocean, it was always cold this early. WIth a sigh, I made a stop at Alan’s dorm and slid a note under his door. “And so begins the friendship.” I whispered to myself.

 Maybe that would help him crawl out of that damned cocoon. Maybe it would be enough to leave a smile on my face when I leave for good.

        Maybe the darkness isn’t closing in like I first assumed. Maybe, I just invited it in without knowing?

        

        -Alan-

 The alarm jolted me awake. The first thing I realized was that I slept well. The nightmares weren’t as nearly as bad. In fact, I didn’t wake up screaming this time. I wanted to jump in the air and celebrate. The medication had been giving me nightmares for months now, but it was worth it if it helped me get through my day.

 I turned the alarm off on my phone and shuffled towards the door. I was thankful that I had been put in a suite with Tino, we shared a kitchen and living room with two other guys, and they were pre-med, so it was basically like living alone. They didn’t watch TV, apparently didn’t eat, and when I asked them if they had facebooks they gave me the most judgmental looks, as if I had just said that their taste in music was shit.