After the War.

Third Year.

"Emily you will be the death of me." I laugh out as she tickled me and I dropped to the floor. Tears falling from the laughing that I had been doing. Trying to cover up how ticklish I was but that was a pointless task and so I eventually hunched over. Trying to not focus on the moving train around me. Not that is was hard as hours had been spent on it but as the train came to a halt I went flying into the other chair that was in front of me. Emily was sat on it and so was Isaac.

When the train stopped a hand grabbed mine and just as I was ready to jerk it back I saw that it was a friend. Isaac looked at me and I pulled from the crowd and into the space around him. A full year having passed since he was last spoken to properly and he looked to be sorry. "I want to tell you that I made a mistake. You were and could still be the best friend I ever had because you are you. Please forgive me." I looked at him dead in the eye before nodded and we tackled one another in a hug.

"Careful, it is dangerous." Professor Trelawney was always a little wacky but that seemed to be far too new for her. Aside from the comments of my death in the near future danger didn't seem to be in her particular vocabulary. It was always a new and odd experience with that woman though.

That was when the meal began and I moved to the table in green. It was pretty and held many people that I liked. It also held the one person that I did not like. A Mr Lee. He thought he was all that but in all honesty he was a basic white boy with all of the old style privileges. Though, he wasn't liked much as he lost the house a full 105 points the year before and they ended up losing to Gryffindor. A perk of being me at the school was I could never do that to my house and even if I did I would only be letting myself down.

As I sat there though a pair of eyes landed on me as I tried to blend in. I was spotted and before I could think to move he sat next to me and I lost the air in my lungs from the tight hold he had on me. I tried to return the hug but I could barely move until he let me go.

"Tim you fine piece of ass. How was your holiday?" My wink fell perfectly with the compliment and he faintly laughed whilst biting back a smile as well, as he sat properly. Not missing a beat though he pulled at my sleeve and pushed something inside of it as he went in to kiss me. I began to pretend but had to pull back as he wasn't one to lose.

"You just lost chicken." I rolled my eyes and looked at what he had slipped into my sleeve. It was in a box to begin with but I opened it and found a feather. The feather I had told him about for hours but I had forgotten where I had seen it and had no way of ever getting it again.

"How? Where was it?" He didn't answer but gave me a wink before looking up at the main table where the adults sat. Flitwick having just entered meant that the sorting was due to begin and so we would see what house the younger students were in.

For what felt like an age students all 11 years old were brought to the stool and then the hat would give a shout as to the house that they belonged in and I was growing bored of the repetitive nature. My heart really went out to the professors as they had to do it every year, and for most they work for longer than seven years at the school. Plus the times as one of the students.

When it was finally over though I stood and walked from the room as I always did. The night was slowly growing but I needed air. A lot was going to happen, I just knew it. My home life had to reach breaking point eventually and three years was plenty of time. I had to make something happen even if that meant I would have to open my mouth a little more and tell others about how I felt.

My mind pictured exactly where I wanted to go and I was navigating my way there as the walls slowly blurred and I felt the heat of the day settle in my mind as I thought over what I had done. Waiting to board the train, buying sweets and playing around with the group. Isaac even smiling as I laughed with tears in my eyes.

The astronomy tower was pretty and the view was one I had often enjoyed on the odd occasion of being able to actually pay attention to what surrounded it and a relaxing sensation always swept over me as I watched out.

As I got the the room I sighed as fresh air filled my senses and the dark sky was seen very clearly but in the shadows laid all of my doubts but I passed the dark and walked to the edge. Thoughts consuming me as I looked out but I felt tired and so I sat down on the edge. My legs hung over the side and my eyes looking down. I was terrified of heights but it was so high that the view seemed fake and unreal. Like it was the TV and there I sat until I couldn't take my own thoughts and I rested my head against the wall whilst looking out.

"Meow." I jumped and nearly fell out when my hand gripped the wall tightly. My heart racing so fast that it could have left my chest and my eyes had to flick back to see what the cat was up to. It was a familiar looking cat and the tabby markings were obvious even in the dark but the unusual marks around the eyes really showed who they were. The same cat that appeared outside my room. Getting Babushka to get into trouble.

I didn't pay any attention to the cat but watched as it sat at the other wall not far from me as it was the other side of the opening. My mind running miles at a time as the eyes trained on me but I looked away and stared down. Unknowingly, I had shifted slightly to see what was just past the wall. Trying to tell what laid below on the ground.

Tears began to fall as I thought on how I would have to deal with school whilst constantly being reminded of my family. With every corner I turned I was faced with my home life or the absence of it and how bad I wanted to give up magic but I also saw how easily the family of three turn four had dropped me. Then it clicked. A baby girl, they had their perfect family of two kids and I didn't fit into that. It wasn't my magic completely but rather their life was filled with someone else.

"Not thinking of jumping are you?" I let my hair fly around me as the voice sounded behind. My head had moved so quickly that it hurt a little but I forgot as I noticed that the cat had left. Probably leaving when the professor entered.

"Nope." I looked down again and quickly wiped away the tears. Halting my train of thought and then standing up. My face pointed down and then I went to walk away but the woman seemed to be about as persistent as my magic was.

"You are upset and I just watched you inch closer to the edge of the building." I could see where she was coming from but the idea hadn't consciously come to me but there was perhaps an idea. Something I was far more afraid of though.

"I was looking at the floor and I'm not upset just... Alive." I tried to walk away but her voice was heard as she called my name and so I stopped. Not looking at the surroundings but the floor instead. "Professor, I will take the punishment for being out of bed but I promise you that I was not consciously trying to kill myself. I know about the last man who did that and I don't deserve to be associated with his greatness." The last was whispered but I had a feeling that she heard. What I hadn't expected was her next few words.

"You are to serve detention with myself for a month. This is due to a buildup of actions not only from those seen tonight but also from dinner. I expect to see you as soon as dinner is over. I will walk you from my office to your room where you will then stay for the night. I also expect you to turn up to all meals from now until the end of the year and food must be consumed. If you miss even one you will have to give me a very proper explanation." I didn't look up but nodded and walked down to the open hall were I found my room and realised that a word would need to be added to the door.

"Alohomora." Was the last thing I said before getting into my room and collapsing into bed for the night.