"Not our fault Lukes fat." (UNEDITED)

*Chapter 10* Tell me we'll get through this?

Calums smile was one of pure and utter happiness, he looked like he had just won the freaking lottery.
"Yes!" He exclaims jumping up and pushing one of the plates on the table forward, making a few people around us look but quickly look away after losing interest.
"Why are you so happy? It's n-not that good is it?" I ask confused at the tan boys sudden burst of energy
He turns to look at me and raises an eyebrow "Lukey are you serious? we are all in love with you and we were worried you didn't like us back? this is great! we need to go tell the boys! oh they wi-the boys!" Calum looks at me with wide eyes which almost make me want to say 'what?' I'm about to question him further but then he jumps towards me and starts to lightly shove me out of the booth.
"C-Cal what are you d-doing?" I say trying not to trip out the entrance of the pizza place.
"We need to go talk to the boys! they think you don't love them too!" He says fast walking towards the short distance to the bus, I nod my head at the sudden realisation that Ash and Mikey could be at the bus thinking I don't love them.
"Shit" I mumble under my breath pushing myself forward so i'm just ahead of Calum.

Once we see the bus in the distance we slow down to a easier pace, our breathing starts to even out and I can finally calm down.
"What do I say to them?" I turn to Calum, my voice shaking with insecurity and worry.
He looks at me and brings me forward, wrapping his strong toned arms around my weak and fragile shoulders.
Looking to each side he notices no one around.
"Maybe I just don't tell the-"
I'm cut off by Calum pushing forward and placing his soft plump lips onto mine.
I don't know how I'm meant to stop myself from fist pumping the air right now but I seem to hold back.
Calum pulls away after a few more seconds and I'd be lying if I didn't say I nearly whined at the loss of his lips.

Get a hold of yourself Luke, honestly.

He probably doesn't even like you that much.

"Ready?" Calum asks looking at me with his eyebrows raised, I just nod my head deciding to do it now before I change my mind.
He smiles at me and rubs one of his hands up and down my shoulder in comfort, "I'll be right beside you Lukey and remember this is good news! they want to hear it" I can feel myself nodding at him but honestly my whole body feels like jelly right now, as if it's hoping to be numb when I tell the boys.
Calum turns to open up the bus door, but just before his hand touches the handle we hear a loud crash.
I scrunch up my eyebrows and push in front of Calum to enter the warm bus.

Walking into the living room space of the bus, Michael is crying and dry sobbing in one corner on a couch, while Ashton is pacing and mumbling things under his breath on the other side.
"What the hell happened here?" I ask my voice firm but confused, I take in the sight of the cushions which have been thrown carelessly across the room and how a broken glass is on the breakfast table.
"Shit come here Mikey" Calum says moving around me to go and console the still sobbing boy, I look on confused at the two before turning my attention to a frizzled Ashton.

Walking up until I am right in front of him, I place a soft hand on his shoulder feeling how tense his muscles are, he turns around to face me and it seems to be instant, his shoulders sag and he exhales all of his anger suddenly drained.
"I'm sorry Lukey" He says bending down to sit on the kitchen booth, I nod at him and look to see Cal whispering things into Michaels ear, which seems to be helping from the way the boys breathing is slowing down and tears ceasing.
"I'm gonna clean this glass up" I mumble shuffling to the cupboard near the kitchenette.
Grabbing a brush and dustpan I move to the table and start to sweep, but as i'm getting to the big parts my hand brushes against a rather sharp edge.
"Shit" I say as soon as I see the blood blossoming out of the clean swipe of a cut, "Fuck Lukey shit shit" I hear Ashton shout but i'm not listening far too intrigued by the sight in front of me.

Fuck thats good
See Luke the boys probably set this up so you would hurt yourself
fag

Shaking hands come to my hand, being weary of the blood which is slowing increasing.
I look up to meet a red eyed Mikey, "I'll clean the rest up, you go and let Ash deal to your cut bab-Luke." I nod at him but nearly wince at the way he said my name, like he wanted to say more but didn't want to step the boundaries.
I never got to tell the boys and I know I need to before the tension gets worse.
"Okay Lukey this won't hurt but it's disinfectant so it might smell bad" Ashton says moving to clean the cut, I watch him fix me up and I can't help but let my mind wonder.

'Yeah, I definitely love this boy' I look over to see Michael cleaning up the glass while being extra careful, his adorable tuffs of green hair and pouty lips 'yeah, I definitely love this boy' "Lukey do you have something to say?" Cal says looking at me with his eyebrows raised and mouth slightly opened 'Yeah' I smile 'I definitely love these boys'
"Boys?" I say not moving too much because Ashton is finishing up my bandage, when he's done a few seconds later I thank him and look at each of them.

"About back there" I start off trying to find the right way to say all my words

come on luke
is this what you want?
come on!
come on!

"I do love you guys, a-all of you a-and I don't mind if that makes me weird b-because whenever I'm with you guys the bad thoughts go away and it's nice" Trying my best to keep my eyesight off the floor I look at each of them expectantly, but when I'm about to ask if they heard me I have Michael jumping over with a big shit eating grin on his face.
"AWWWW LUKEY YAYYYYYY" He cuddles into my neck while straddling my waist, I laugh an actual laugh one that I didn't have to force out.
"Does this mean we're dating?" Calum asks smiling and making his eyes squint slightly, I look at each of them and nod my head "Unless you guys don't want to" I say a frown forming on my face.
"No, no, no w-we want to don't worry" Ashton says looking to Cal before they both join me and Michael on the couch and we make a big awkward pile of boys.

Fag fag fag fag fag fag

"Don't worry babe, we'll get through this together" Calum says pushing his nose against my cheek.

Yeah, maybe we will?

But even with the new found hope, I couldn't let go of the thoughts that they would be better off without me.