"Not our fault Lukes fat." (UNEDITED)

*Chapter 14* Looking For Luke

A/N Hello! I don't normally do too many notes but i just wanted to say how happy I am that people like this story??? it's crazy! I am starting to go through and editing chapters to make all spelling mistakes and things like that correct. But honestly logging on and seeing people have left comments makes my day, I hope you're all finding this story enjoyable and are liking what I am doing, everything has a reason for happening I promise. But yeah if anyone is still reading this note I just want to basically say THANK YOU :D xxxx

Lukes pov (as always)

Waking up in the morning was odd, all night I was awoken by nightmares of the boys being killed and me just having to watch, I woke up around 4 times through the night in a cold sweat. I layed in the comfy bed for a few more minutes trying to wrap my mind around what happened yesterday, I ran away...I Luke Hemmings ran away, ran away from my dream job which I didn't deserve.

I wondered if anything had happened since the boys tweets, I logged onto twitter, making sure that location had been disabled for everything so that they can't trace me and that I can't recieve any texts or calls or emails of any kind, and what I see made me jaw drop.

#LukesLost

#ComeHomeLuke

#LookingForLuke

#FindLuke

#LukeWatch

Luke Hemmings

Run away

Luke Hemmings Dead

Those were all the trends worldwide, I felt my stomach go a bit queasy at the thought of all those people looking for me, I tapped on a few tweets and saw big search parties looking for me already, I thought they had to wait a few days? But then again I did say I was running away...well shit.

Racing up from the bed I push open the door to the small bathroom, I crouch in front of the toilet and puke what little food I had in my stomach out. I sit there long enough for my knees to start aching and my arms to push me back. I need to get out of this city before people find out where I am! What if they close all exits? What if I can't get out? They'll make me get locked up so I won't try to run again?! Thinking all of this made my breathing start to quicken and before I know it I have flushed the toilet weakly and wipped the back on my mouth with some toilet paper, before I crawl over to my bed and grab my phone, clutching it to my chest. My vision starts to go blurry from my breathing not slowing down. I look to my bag by the door and try to move to get my pills to help my panic attacks, but before I can get there, I fall to the ground with a thud and am enveloped into darkness.

*ASHTONS POV* (what?? cray cray!!)

I open the door to the hotel room weakly, I've been out in the city trying to look for clues on finding Luke, or even a trace of Luke. I walk through to the bedroom and see Michael lying motionless on the bed, his eyes red and watery as some tears still trail down his cheeks. Calum is on his laptop on the ground lent up against a wall with a furious stern look on his face, determination. Me and the boys are determined to find Luke, when Cal and I came back to the room last night to find a rushed note on the kitchen counter top simply saying.

I'm sorry but I have to leave, I've caused enough trouble already.

Calum immediately called Greg to tell him the information and from then on we've had people all around the busy city looking for the blond boy and now I'm only just getting back at 8am, completely exhausted and a little bit saddened that we hadn't found Luke yet.

"Come here Mikey." I say quietly to the absolutely crushed boy on the bed, I try to keep my movements quiet as I lay down next to my boyfriend, as to not break the silence thats settled as a layer in the room. "We will find him, you hear me? We will get our Luke back okay?" I say as I rub his back comfortingly while pulling him closer into my chest, I can feel his tears wetting my shirt and making me ache more for the blond boy to be here so that everything can be alright again and we can all just be happy boyfr-"Its my fault isn't it?" I hear a small voice say from my chest, I pull away from Michael quickly to show how strongly I'm speaking.

"Michael listen to me when I say this, is not your fault, okay? Luke just needs some help and we will find him and it will be fine and we will get through this together!" I say tears of my own starting to fall down my cheeks as I pull Mikey close to me again, I hear a quiet click and look up to see Calum coming over to us as well, he comes over to lay on the otherside of Michael and wraps his arms around the both of us. "We will find our baby." He says as we all cuddle closer and just try to give comfort as well as take. 

After we all finished our cuddling we felt the need to get back into looking for Luke, Calum took charge as I was basically tripping over my own feet at how tired I am, but I won't go to bed, I need to help find Luke, I know I won't be able to have an easy sleep until he is safe and happy with us again. 

"Okay Mikey, you go downstairs and go with Greg to look around town, you talked to Luke about colours he could dye his hair before so in case he has you'll have an idea on what he would do! I'm going to go down and go and talk to the local taxi company and ask if anyone gave Luke a ride somewhere? It might help lead us to a certain part, and Ashton, you go to bed, you look absolutely out of it so you won't be going anywhere, but the quicker you go get some rest the quicker you can be back out there, looking for Luke, everyone happy? good." Michael and I just nodded at Calum quickly before we all went out own ways.

"Oh and boys? Keep your phones on at all times and try to text or call Luke when you can, but just remembr Luke isn't completely dumb so he won't answer you straight away or anything, but be persistent!" And that was that, I went to the bedroom and immediately curled up, trying not to think about the blond giant that used to cuddle with me.

We will find Luke.

*Lukes pov*

I blink my eyes slowly as I gain my vision back and the feeling in my body. Moving slightly so I can lean against my bed, I take it slowly as I realise I must have fainted from my panic attack earlier. 

Normally the boys are there to calm me down, not anymore. 

I push myself and tell myself to not think like that, after all I was the one who left? I was the one who got into that taxi and I was the one who ranaway? So why do I feel so much regret?...

I sigh and rub my hands together before looking up the ceiling. I left but I think i'm regretting it? I want to say I'm not but I am? I want to be back home, with the boys, all cuddled up in their strong embraces, feeling happy, feeling safe. 

"Why are you so stupid Luke?" I call out to myself.

"Why can't you do anything right?!" I can feel the anger bubbling up inside of me.

I push myself up and walk over to my bag, I shuffle through it until I find what I need, I pull out the small box and move to the bathroom, I sit down and lean against one of the still slightly warm heaters, I open the box and empty the contents into my hand, my razor.