All I ever wanted was for Travis to love me the way I loved him. That, and to get away from my pa.
Without Travis, I think I would just have died after one of my pa's beatings, maybe even when I was just little. Not from the injury, though that was bad enough, but because before Travis came along I had no hope, no reason to live. Just having him there, knowing he cared about me, was enough to keep me going for a while. But later, it wasn't enough.
Travis was the only friend I had when I was young. I think the only reason I even had him was that he was so persistent. I was never strong enough to be persistent, except in this one thing: I needed him and I wanted him.
Even now, when it is much too late, I need him and want him.
When I was ten, my ma tried to get us away from pa, but he found us and brought us back. He beat us both pretty bad, and he told ma if she ever tried anything like that again, he would kill her. I think if I hadn't gone with her, he would have beat me for that, or for some other made-up reason. The truth is, he just liked to hurt people. He didn't beat Jake after he brought us back. I used to think it was because Jake snitched on us, but now I think maybe it was because he was satisfied with what he had already done to Jake — turned him into a sadistic S.O.B. like himself. And that was another hurt to me, because Jake used to try to protect me the little bit he could, like warning me to hide when he saw Pa coming home drunk.
That beating was the worst I'd had up until then, and didn't see any reason I should stick around for more. I was intending to run away, though with no plan of where or what I would do when I got there. There aren't many options for a ten-year-old. I thought maybe the police would catch me, and if they put me in some kind of home for runaways, that might be OK, but if they brought me back home, I would be even worse off.
I had some idea if Travis came with me, I would somehow be all right, and when he wouldn't I was real upset, though I tried not to show it. I had to be content with his promise that he would come with me when we were older. I held that promise to my heart for a long, long time.
And meanwhile, life went on much the same as it always had.
YOU ARE READING
A Soldier's Heart
General Fiction"Travis was a soldier with heart. His love for his family, his country and his community is unquestioned. He never hesitated to put his life on the line for those he loved- and he loved many and deeply." So begins Travis Barrett's eulogy. A true her...
