A Soldier's Heart

Alone With Travis (Beth)

"So what are we going to do today?"

Travis picked up his hatchet. "The first thing is to enlarge the lean-to."

That took most of the morning. We collected a bunch more firewood and ate the last of the ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch.

In the afternoon, Travis said he wanted to do a little more exploring around there, so that's what we did. Travis would stop and examine a plant every now and again, and he collected some funny-looking orange fungus from a tree. He said it was good to eat. He pointed out things I would never have noticed, like bear scratches on a tree. We ended up back at the creek and followed it upstream to the campsite. It was late afternoon by then.

Travis got out his fishing line and hooks, and made a fishing pole for each of us. Then we sat on the bank of the creek and fished. We caught a couple of trout and Travis cleaned them for our supper. I made him cut the heads off. I didn't want to have them look at me while we ate them.

"There's a couple of ways to cook them out in the wild," Travis said. "One way is to coat them with wet clay and bake them, but there isn't any clay around here. So we'll do the next best thing."

He took a couple of squares of tinfoil out of his backpack (Goodness! He was real prepared!), laid a fish on each one, spread the fish open and put lots of salt on the inside, then closed it up again and folded the tinfoil tightly over it. He raked some coals from the fire to one side, set the fish packets on them, and covered the fish with more coals.

"They won't take long to cook," he said. "We'll have some beans with them."

He got the beans out, then rooted around in his backpack.

"Darn it, I forgot a can opener." He thought for a minute, then took out his pocket knife and punctured the top of the tin several times, until he could fold it back a bit. He poured the beans into a pot and set it on the cooking stone. I just shook my head. He could figure out anything, I swear.

Luckily there were two spoons, and we ate the beans right from the pot. The foil was our plates for the fish. And for desert, we had half a peanut butter and jam sandwich each. I don't think I ever enjoyed a meal so much, before or since.

After we ate, I took the dishes down to the creek to clean them, while Travis arranged the lean-to. Then we sat by the fire and talked and watched the stars and shared a mug of hot chocolate until I could barely keep my eyes open.

Travis was yawning too, and said we should turn in. We went to the lean-to. I saw he opened the sleeping bag out flat, and spread the blankets on top. It wasn't what I was expecting.

"We'll be warmer if we share body heat," he explained. "It's an old survival technique."

We lay down in our clothes and covered up with the blankets. I snuggled as close to Travis as I could, and he put his arms around me, but that's all. He went to sleep fast, but it took me a long time to fall asleep, even though I had been so sleepy sitting by the fire. I lay there and listened to his heart beating, feeling my heart beating but not in the same rhythm.

In the morning we had eggs and porridge again, and shared the last packet of hot chocolate. I felt filthy and I could smell my breath.

"I wish I brought a toothbrush," I said.

Travis just laughed. He got up and went into the woods. He was back a couple of minutes later with a spruce twig.

"Try this."

It wasn't as good as a real toothbrush, but it helped, and it didn't taste too bad.

"I need a shower real bad, too."

"You could have a dip in the creek. No soap, of course. Or towels."

I stared at him. Did he think I was going to strip down in front of him?

"Go on," he encouraged. "You'll feel better. And I promise I won't look."

I made up my mind. I got the bag with my extra clothes and went down to the creek. I hunched down behind a bush to undress, and took out a clean shirt, undies and socks. I'd have to wear the same skirt, but that was all right.

I looked over at the campsite. Travis was sitting with his back to me, like he promised. I went into the creek, gasping when the cold water came up to my knees.I sat down and scooped water all over me, rubbing myself with my wet hands. My nipples puckered up and stood out. It felt funny when I rubbed them. I wondered if it would feel the same if a boy rubbed them. I thought about Travis doing it, and I wasn't so cold any more. I rubbed my private parts too. Just to clean them. Ma used to tell me you shouldn't touch yourself more than you had to.

When I was about as clean as I could get without soap, I got up and waded over to the bank. I felt very strange. The wind was making my wet body cold and the sun was warming it, at the same time, kind of like how the creek was making me cold and thinking of Travis was making me warm. I felt like crying but I didn't know why.

I dried myself as well as I could with my dirty shirt, and then got dressed. I went over to Travis, who still had his back turned to the creek, and sat down beside him.

"Better?" he asked. I nodded. "I think I'll do the same."

He picked up his knapsack and walked toward the creek. I could hear his footsteps where he scuffed over the gravel. It was quiet for a minute, then I heard splashing. I never told him I wouldn't look, and I wanted to look, real bad, but I just couldn't. I was afraid. I don't know what of, but I was scared. I told myself it wouldn't be fair, 'cause he didn't look at me, but that wasn't what made me not do it. I was scared.

When Travis came back, he told me we had to make the campsite neat and ready for the next time, and then we would head home.

He poured a few buckets of water over the fire and stirred it with a stick, to make sure it was really out. We cleaned the dishes and packed everything up. The last thing we did was collect a bunch more firewood and stack it inside the lean-to. Then Travis put on his knapsack and Scout hat, picked up his walking stick with one hand and the bag holding my blankets with the other, and headed up the hill. I followed him, carrying the little bag with my clothes in it.

My beautiful weekend was over.