lucy, i'm drunk

XIV

- let it hurt -
[chris' pov]

i woke up with lucy by my side.
she was so calm sleeping. her hair was in a messy bun, she was wearing my hoodie and some girl shorts.

i'm falling for her every day but i feel like i'm ruining her. even though i want to let her go because i'm toxic in her life, she makes me so happy.

it may sound selfish but in these past six years, nothing good happened in my life. everything was going downhill and finally when i find my source of happines which is her, i fuck it up by getting her involved into all of this.

i stood up from my bed and put clothes on. i put on a black t shirt and some sweatpants. i went over back to the bed and kissed lucy's forehead.

"i love you." i whisper but she was sleeping. i kept on repeating those words while she was under my arms but thankfully, she didn't hear me say those words even once.

i left the room and slowly closed the door. it was seven in the morning and i went downstairs. i saw tyson at the kitchen.

"chris..." tyson says.

i grab my car keys and ignore him. he didn't do anything to me, i just wasnt in the mood to do any interactions and i was still in a bad mood from yesterday.

tyson stood up from his chair "i know you and lucy has stuff going on, hell, i heard you yesterday, but if you keep involving her into this shit and something fucks up you are fucking dead. i will fucking kill you."

i lick my lips and smirked "and what exactly will you do to me?"

"i will do anything to fuck your life up if you fuck up lucy's life."

i step closer to tyson "i killed a man yesterday because that man wanted to kill lucy. if that didnt prove my loyalty and love towards her, you are fucked up and if i die for loving somebody, so be it."

i shrugged and went over to my car and drove off.

i got my phone and called Maddy.

"Hey bubba." she says and my heart breaks.

madison is my younger sister. i fucking love her and miss her so much. i visit her once every month. i can't come home all the time because my parents let go of me and in their words 'i am a disappointment and a mistake.' i fucking hate my parents. they're both disgusting human beings that dont even deserve to have kids. they ruined me and now they're going to ruin maddy.

my dad is a stupid alcoholic and he was in a gang member till he went to jail. he came back and tried to convince me to stop what im doing but it was too late. my mom is just a whore. both of them never had time for me so i grew up independent,
quiet and never confident. both of them would always bring me down in any way just so the both of them could feel better about themselves. they never looked at me as a human being, they only looked at me as an object that was supposed to absorb their fucking pain and anger. it fucking worked. i am now in pain and filled with anger. they got what they wanted. and when finally, they let go of their sad and disgusting past they decided to let go of me when i was fifteen because i caused too much trouble. i never had the supplies for school, mostly because my parents were fucking broke and id come late at school because my dad used to beat the living shit out of me.