the boy with the blue shoes

part 20

i walked away, i kept looking back and the house kept getting further and further away. i texted robert and went round to his house. i walked into his room and we immediately started playing the x-box. we were playing minecraft for some weird reason, but it was fun and i enjoyed it. i had turned off my phone so justin and amanda couldn't find me, i just didn't want to be around them right now. robert's mum busted into the room "max, did you run away" i looked at her, "you're parents are here" i sighed. "get down those stairs now" she yelled, i grabbed my bag and walked down the stairs. the whole family was standing there. "thank you, lorri. well see you at church tomorrow" amanda smiled and we walked back to their house.

"sit" amanda said, i sat down and waited. "i'm very dissapoited in you for punching justin but hes here to apologise" i waited and justin stepped forward. "look, i'm sorry i said that you were running away just like you always do" justin said, it wasn't that sincere but i didn't really care. "that's fine" i smiled a little. "okay good, now hug" amanda said. "no way" me a justin said in unison. "just hug" she began raising her voice. we both got a bit scared and gave each other the smallest hug ever.

the next morning we had to all wake up at, what felt like, 6am to go to damn church. "come max, get it up, it's 8am, church is in 2 hours" amanda said as she burst through my door. "ugh, leave me alone" i sighed as i rolled over and snuggled back into my covers. "max, get up" she said. "no" i moaned. that seemed to work because she went away. i was slowly falling back asleep when i heard someone creeping into my room, i ignored it thinking it was just my mind. i suddenly felt water being poured over me. "what the f-" i began yelled before being interrupted by amanda. "i told you to get up" i wiped my face as scoffed. "you're a bitch" i moaned as i pushed past her and into the bathroom. "come on max" she said coming after me. "it was just to get you up for church" she smiled. "well do it a nice way, don't throw a bucket of water over someone" i yelled as i grabbed a towel and dried myself.

i was basically dragged into the car by justin. "i don't wanna go though, church sucks" i moaned as we begun driving to church. "i don't care that you don't like it, you're going" justin raised his voice.

after church we went home and i went straight to my room, i lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. church reminded me of callan, i fucking missed callan. i went rummaging through my stuff and found the old letters i wrote after he died. every night i used to write letters like he'd actually ever get them. i began reading them:

callan,
hey dude, i miss you. it's only been like a day but i miss the way you laughed, your laugh always lit up a room and it's like that lights gone. i blame myself, it's all my fault, i shouldn't have let you drink that much, i should have known, i should have known. well i hope you're doing well and that you're happy, wherever you are.

max

tears began to fill my eyes as i put that letter to the back and read another.

callan,
i had a bad day today, i got excluded, internally. i didn't even know that was a thing, but now everyone's mad at me, especially maria. i don't mean to annoy people and i always try my hardest not to but before i know it i'm sitting in detention and i don't even remember why i got it. i don't know, i guess it's just the way people were made, i guess i was just made fucked up, ament i right. i'm useless without my best friend, without my partner in crime, without you! i really miss you and i wish we could still talk because i fucking miss that, i just miss you, your voice, your laugh, your weird and wacky stories. well that was my day today, i hope that you had a better one, wherever you are.

max

that's when i began crying, i shut the letters over and i decided to lay back down. i was just staring at the ceiling trying to stop myself from crying, it wasn't working. "i love you callan" i whispered as i closed my eyes.