Sunshine & Saltwater [BxB] COMPLETED

la tristesse

"Ronan, what took you so long?" Will asked. Ronan scratched the back of his neck, praying that he didn't have any hickeys visible.

"I was just busy doing homework, so I had my headphones in. Couldn't hear you at first," Ronan replied. Will and Alex, a close friend from being on the same club soccer team, were waving cans of soda and holding a box of pizza.

"What are you guys doing here?" Ronan asked, passing a hand through his hair in what he hoped didn't look like tidying up. Alex looked at Ronan quizzically.

"We used to come uninvited to your house all the time," Alex said. Ronan cut a quick glance to his room.

Shit, Theo.

"Um...right. How about we go to the theatre downstairs," Ronan suggested. Will looked a bit suspicious, since they always went straight to his room, but brushed it off when Alex whooped. Ronan had a private theatre room in the level below, but only his close friends knew about it.

"Let's go, then," Alex said, slapping Ronan on the back. Ronan tried to smile, but his heart wasn't in it.

He pulled his phone out and sent a quick text:

Sorry. I'll make it up to you. We are going to the theatre, so in five minutes you can leave. X

~

Theo had waited a minute before he left the room, not bothering to go in the closet. Ronan suggesting that was...was absurd. Theo couldn't quite believe what had happened once he got home last night, and he couldn't decide whether he should feel angry at Ronan or just feel bad for him. And then later seeing Ronan's text! Like Theo was some secret affair and was always placed second to his real life.

"Theo?"

"What," Theo snapped, then blinked, embarrassed, "...sorry, Joe, I didn't mean to say it like that."

Joe only looked worried, not offended. He was Theo's best friend, and probably the nicest person in the world. They were at school, waiting for the bell to ring for first period.

"Are you okay? You've been staring off into space. Is something bothering you? You can tell me, you know," Joe said with genuine concern. And Theo knew he could. Joe would be extremely understanding. But if Ronan wasn't ready, Theo wouldn't push him.

"I'm good. Just tired, that's all," Theo said, passing a hand over his face in exhaustion from not being able to sleep.

Joe and Theo continued walking down the hallway when Theo heard that familiar laugh. His head snapped up and on the other side of the hallway, a group of people were bunched next to Ronan's locker. Will, he recognized, as well as a few other guys from the team. And a couple cheerleaders too, dressed in their short skirts, hair tied up in blue ribbon.

Then there was Ronan, caught in the middle like a spotlight was shining on him. Ronan felt so out of reach just then, that Theo wasn't sure if he actually did spend all this time with Ronan, or if it was another person that only looked like him.

Their eyes met, and Ronan's grin fell away. Theo could feel the shame bubbling up his throat, pressing behind his eyes, the same feeling he got when Ronan told him to hide in the closet.

Are you ashamed of me, Ronan?

And there was something else, too. Something that flashed and sliced in his chest, that he couldn't quite hide from Ronan before he looked away.

White, sizzling hot anger that Theo never knew he had.

~

He fucked up.