Sunshine & Saltwater [BxB] COMPLETED

fin

At first it was just skirting around the palpable tension whenever their conversations leaned toward serious talk about what this was, but now they were full on avoiding it, sometimes changing the subject as subtly as an oncoming train that they both had the decency to blush.

But Ronan knew he would never bring it up, never ask, never push for what he wanted with Theo, not when he had him at his house all the time, where Theo let him do whatever he pleased.

He would take Theo this time, in whatever way. No more taking him for granted.

Theo was the only real happiness in his life, and he wasn't about to ruin it because of his own selfish desires.

Also, Theo looked happy. Maybe it was just after glow, but it didn't matter, he wasn't going to ruin that.

So it came as quite a surprise when Theo did it for him.

~

The large dining room was silent as Theo and Ronan's silverware clanked against the plates. Theo tried not to wince at the scraping sound.

They had, it seemed, nothing to talk about. Except that was miles from the truth, because they had so much to talk about that Theo could barely take how formal they had become.

"Okay. That's it. I'm just going to say it," Theo said forcibly and outright. Ronan dropped his fork and it clattered to the floor.

Theo thought Ronan might've been holding his breath, waiting for some sort of rejection or pain.

"I don't think I can just have fun with you anymore. I know I was the one who started this whole thing, and it might look like now I'm showing my true intentions. But that's not how it is. When we first started...I intended for us to just get drunk and play around, nothing serious, until maybe I would stop dreaming of you and thinking about you all the time."

Ronan flushed at that.

Theo continued. "I know you probably don't want to be in a relationship with me, but I can't stand going on like this for much longer, not knowing if after summer this is just going to stop. Because I don't want it to stop."

Ronan's expression was surprised and in awe, looking at Theo like he was a resurrecting angel.

"I'm a horrible boyfriend," Ronan said.

"Then I am too," Theo countered.

Ronan's forehead crinkled in adorable confusion. "What about what happened with your college flings? Is that what this will turn into?"

Theo said breathlessly, "No, never. Those flings were meant to erase you from my memory. Instead..."

No need to elaborate. Ronan knew exactly what he meant, had done the same thing himself, tried to forget that someone else miles away was the only boy he ever loved wholly and with every fiber and sinew of his being.

"How can you trust me? After everything?"

"That was three years ago, Ronan. And I understand why you did what you did. High school is a scary place for people like us," Theo said. Ronan was lost, almost frozen in his seat, looking at Theo with those doe-like eyes.

"I-I don't...how do you know this can work?" Ronan asked, his voice trembling.

"I don't," Theo said, softly, "Last time I wanted it to work so badly, that I didn't let the relationship breathe. I didn't let us adjust to something so new. I was too obsessed, too worried, too wishful. Now I know that I can't force anything. It has to be natural. If it doesn't work, it isn't meant to be. But I want to give it a try. Don't you?"