Sunshine & Saltwater [BxB] COMPLETED

l' ombre

The next day, Will invited Theo (and Joe!) to go to the beach. Theo accepted because Joe did. Definitely not because Ronan might be there. And definitely not because he sort of wanted to know if Ronan hated him, if he was dating anyone, if he wanted to see Theo again.

No, Theo definitely did not go because of that.

There was a fire heating up, even though it was only two in the afternoon, and someone brought food and beer.

Joe was off talking to someone he knew, leaving Theo alone, standing awkwardly by the bowls of chips, telling himself over and over that it didn't matter whether or not Ronan was here.

~

The party was in full swing when he arrived. Ronan knew it wasn't really a party, more relaxed and casual, people lounging around a fire, beer bottles in hand.

Everyone was a little more built, taller, faces sharper and features fuller. Ronan could tell that they had learned some hard lessons already, saw a bit of the world that wasn't as sheltered as high school.

Will came to him first, and nodded toward the ocean.

"He's been alone this whole time, can you talk with him?" Will asked. Ronan looked to where Will was pointing.

It was Theo, standing knee deep in the water, the waves crashing and spraying his shorts. He looked taller, his limbs still lanky and lean.

"Why me?" Ronan asked.

"You know why," Will said.

~

"What are you thinking about?" Ronan asked. Theo hadn't even realized Ronan was there, but it didn't surprise him.

"You," Theo said. He turned to see Ronan's reaction.

Blank expression. Slight blush.

"I–I'm sorry," Ronan stammered, out of the blue. Theo began to say something in protest—he hated when Ronan said sorry—but Ronan held up a hand. His eyes were slightly wild, desperate, like he had to say this. "I know I said it a million times before, so that's why I'm only going to say it one more time. I'm sorry. For disrespecting you. For acting like I was ashamed of you when in reality I was ashamed of myself. I should have been the one to break it off. I wasn't ready, to come out, to be in a relationship like that, where I cared so much and loved so deeply. Instead I was selfish. I wanted you so badly, I didn't care about the consequences. Looking back...well, you know the saying, hindsight is twenty-twenty. Anyway. I'm glad you're here. And that I get to see you...I mean, besides being my boyfriend....you were also the only person I could truly confide in, so thank you for that."

Theo bit his lip. It had felt like he lost more than a boyfriend. Ronan encompassed all his struggles, insecurities, when Theo was just figuring out who he was.

Sometimes Theo wished they waited longer. Didn't get into it right away. But then he remembered the feeling of kissing Ronan for the first time, and he knew that would've been impossible.

"Do you wish we never....happened?" Theo asked.

"No. Never," Ronan said definitively. Theo relaxed, and immediately felt awful. He shouldn't care about any of this. He should shut up.

Instead, he said, "Me too."

~

Ronan was too happy to be doing the dishes.

He hummed and nodded his head as if music was playing.

His chest weighed less, his lips curved easily into a smile, and for some reason he couldn't stop checking his phone.

He was excited for something, but didn't know what.

When it came time to sleep, his mind raced, and he got up to get a drink of water and calm the energy buzzing in his veins.

That didn't work, so he grabbed his keys and left the house.

~

Theo tried to forget about what Ronan said to him, but his mind kept circling back to him.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to Ronan. Anyone with eyes could see how handsome he was.

But Ronan was his ex, and it's been three years. Theo should be able to rid himself of these thoughts.

But he couldn't. And it was so late.

So he got in his car, no destination in mind, and drove.

~

The ocean glittered like glass under the moonlight. A cold breeze made Ronan shiver.

What time was it?

Ronan slipped his shoes off, lifted his shirt over his shoulders, shorts next, until he was only in boxers.

For a second, he thought about taking those off too, then thought that if something serious happened, he didn't want to be naked.

Then he ran towards the water, his legs going faster and faster until he couldn't run through the water anymore and he dove.

The water was cold, but Ronan felt so alive it didn't matter.

His arms cut through the waves smoothly, and his muscles felt good despite being a bit sore.

When his limbs started to burn, he returned to the shore. He didn't know how he was going to dry off, and was about to just put his clothes on now and deal with it, when he heard a voice.

"Ronan? Is that you?"

Ronan turned, heart beating in his throat, every nerve on edge.

And there he was.

A shadow. A figure.

Theo.