hi potential trigger this chapter. it's very brief, but i don't want to hurt or bring up bad memories for any of you. there's a sentence that implies s*icidal thoughts.
avery knew that many people believed heartbreak was something poetic and lovely, but the pain she was feeling was so excruciating that she wondered how anyone could view it like that.
she had been curled up in her bed for days and only moved when she absolutely had to. she ignored the many knocks that filled her apartment and attempted to drown them out with the same song on repeat. it used to be one of her favorites, but now it brought her to tears when she just read the title.
avery replayed every second of their seemingly-perfect relationship in her head. it was as if she were watching the same movie over and over again, hoping that eventually the ending would change.
for as long as she could remember, her everyday routine contained him, now it only consisted of her crying and trying to heal herself by opening another bottle of alcohol.
she kept her phone off because even though she loved her friends, she no longer wanted to bother them with her problem that most people in the world would consider small.
the empty bottles of alcohol by her bed were the only thing getting her through her lonely nights. she had grown used to the burning feeling that the vodka caused and now she could easily down it like it was her favorite drink and she felt like she was ending up just like she swore she wouldn't.
she was so drunk one night that she was sat on her living room floor, her body shaking because it couldn't handle the amount of alcohol that was rushing through her veins.
if she were sober, or just a little less drunk, she probably would've ignored the person who was calling her name through the securely locked door. she normally left it unlocked because she always enjoyed her friend's company, but now she had no energy to even carry a conversation.
she swung the door open and was greeted with a worried sam. he scurried in her freezing apartment before she had a chance to slam the door. they stood in silence for a few moments before sam began to ramble on and although avery watched his lips move, she couldn't comprehend a word he was saying until she noticed the way his mouth formed the word colby and suddenly something clicked and his voice filled the space around her.
sam was out of breath because he got everything he'd been needing to say out, but he didn't know that avery hadn't heard the majority of it.
"colby," she murmured and a few tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. the alcohol had numbed her to a point where she forgot about him for just a moment, but then sam snapped her back into reality.
sam glanced around her apartment and noticed a bottle of sleeping pills that were knocked over and scattered across her counter and he nearly broke his neck when he turned to look at her again. she knew that the gears in his head were turning, but she would never tell him that she debated on taking them last night in hopes that she'd fall asleep and never wake up.
sam knew that he had to do something about this and he wished nothing more than to reach into her and pull all the pain that she was feeling from her body. he wasn't sure what to do, so he took a few strides towards her and wrapped his arms around her shaking frame and he held her.
she was choking on her tears and cursing at the world and she knew her neighbors were probably tired of her horrid cries by now.
her heart was broken and nothing sam could say would come close to putting all the pieces back together, but was going to try the best he could.
