The end and the beginning

16

Lisa POV

"Wake up."

I opened my eyes and saw Jennie patting my shoulder. I had fallen asleep in her bed last night. 

"When are we leaving?" I asked getting up.

" In like four hours. We need to pack, let the kids to your parents' house and go to the train station." Jennie explained to me.

"Fine."

I went to my bedroom and took new clothes. I decided to take a shower before eating breakfast. I felt bad for the children since they hadn't had that much time with us the last month. time of quality. When I had finished my showering, I put on a black t-shirt and blue jeans. I dried my long hair and finally got downstairs, only to be met by the image of Lovie and Kay enting cereals in their pajamas in front of the tv. I kissed their cheeks and decided to make me some eggs. 

Two hours later, Jennie and I were doing the kids bags since they would be at my parents' place for at least two days. When we were done with the children's things, Jennie gave Lovie a bath while Kayden and I made my own bag. 

"When are you coming back?" 

I looked at him and saw he was pouting cutely. He was definitely sad that I wasn't going to be there for some time. I cupped his little face in one of my hand. His chubby cheeks were even more apparent. 

" I promise to not take too long before coming back. I am sorry for leaving again kay." I told him.

" I love you, mommy." He told me before taking me in his small arms.

" I love you too baby. I love you more than anything."

I smiled at him and finished to fill my bag. I was about to get downstairs,  after taking kay's and mine's bags when I went past this room. A room filled with memories, a room full of happy times but mostly a room full of her. She was everywhere in there. I put down the luggage and approached the door. I hadn't been in there since the accident. I didn't have the courage to get inside. I turned the doorknob to challenge myself, knowing it was locked. Surprisingly, the door opened. My breath got stuck in my throat. I could feel my heart going crazy in my chest. I pushed the door open and met the room I promised I'd never entered again a couple of months ago. There were paintings everywhere. Chaeyoung had always loved landscapes, so a lot of her works were about it. I trace the contour of the canvas with my fingers. I looked all around the room. In the corner was her desk, where she would work all night long. I approached it slowly, my eyes getting watery. On the table was her agenda. The page was marked with red. On Wednesday was written, Gynecological appointment 14h30. My heart hurt after reading it. These pages were part of our lives, but they weren't anymore. 

" Lisa?"

I turned around, crying. Jennie was in the doorway. Seeing my face, she was about to enter.

" Don't you dare come inside!" I screamed at her.

Her wide eyes could tell me she was frightened. She backed away without breaking our visual contact. When she was out of the room she took a peak of it. Her eyes met mines again.

" Are you okay?" She asked me tenderly.

" Can you just go away? I need some time alone." I asked her.

She sighed and took the bags I had let down. She disappeared from sight the second after. I dried my tears and took the biggest breath I could to calm down.  I could never touch this room. Never. Chaeyoung's clothes were still in our wardrobe. I was such a pussy. When I was okay, I decided to get out. Jennie was about to get out of the house with the kids. I put my shoes on and followed her inside the car. None of us talked. Kay and Lovie were playing with their toys. Really, how could I want to love Jennie properly if I couldn't even let her pass before Chaeyoung? She was looking outside, obviously avoiding my own gaze. I knew she was hurt. That's the only thing I do right with her. She was so fragile and I was so bad-tempered.  Were we really meant to be? I was always unsure when it came to her.