Rote - Seide || Rosékook [END]

Chapter 1 : I still...

       Di dalam saku gaun pendek yang ia kenakan, Rose membuka catatan kecil yang dikirimkan padanya. Ia membaca kembali apa yang tertulis diantara halaman-halaman kosong.

I got flowers today!
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night;
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didn't mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. 
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. 
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. 
It seemed like a nightmare. 
I couldn't believe that it was real. 
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. 
I know he must be sorry. 
Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today!
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed unreal, a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares;
And I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over—but I know he is sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn't Valentines Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long sleeves didn't hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldn't go to work today because I didn't want anyone to know—but I know
he's sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about
money?
I'm afraid of him, but I'm too scared and dependent to leave him! But he
must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today....
Today was a special day—it was the day of my funeral;
Last night he killed me;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
I could have received help from the Women's Shelter, but I didn't ask for
their help;
So I got flowers today—for the last time.

By Paulette Kelly (1992)

       Beralih memandangi foto masa kecil yang belum pernah ia lihat sebelumnya. Dalam kondisi yang masih sangat bagus. Dua orang gadis manis tersenyum ke arah kamera, pakaian dan model rambut mereka sama. Tinggi badan juga setara. Dilihat usia mereka sekitar satu tahun. Ada sepasang suami istri yang juga tersenyum. Terhitung ini ketiga kalinya Rose menutup kembali lembaran catatan itu, menyelipkan asal saja foto tersebut di antara halaman buku. Masih berharap jika tidak benar-bear terjadi. Jika berada dekat dengan Tuhan, rasanya lemah sekali. Terlebih seorang diri sini. Untungnya masih sedikit lebih baik ditemani banyak bunga mawar dan tulip putih, sepertinya sebelumnya ada pemberkatan pernikahan.