Him & I - Nick Mara

Chapter 8

"So what exactly are we discussing?" I asked Nick, as we were driving to his surprise birthday party that he knew nothing about. "That kiss." He said. "What about it?" I asked. "Did it mean anything to you? Or was it just a kiss." He asked.

"Obviously it meant something to me because I'm the one that kissed you." He said.

I didn't really know what to say to him. Of course I cared about him. He was my best friend but, was I ready to be more than that with him? "Look Nick, you know I love you and I have strong feelings for you but, I don't know if I'm ready to be in a serious relationship." I said.

His mood immediately dropped. "Look I'm not asking you for a serious relationship right now. I just wanna know if the time was right, and we took it slow, would you be willing to give me a shot?" He asked.

I couldn't lie to him. I knew that if I ever had the opportunity to be with someone as amazing as Nick, I would take it. Without hesitation. The only thing that was holding me back was the fact that I wasn't good enough for him.

He deserved everything in the world. He was a gift from god in my eyes so, I wanted him to have the best of everything in life. I definitely didn't qualify as the best.

"You deserve so much better than me Nick." I said, completely avoiding his question. "The only thing I want is you, and nobody can tell me otherwise. I know what I do and don't want." He said.

"And I know that, but don't start something you can't handle." I said. "Why are you getting so defensive about it? All I asked was if you have feelings for me, and all you're doing is pushing me away." He said.

"Because Nick!! I know myself way too well. I know that if we got together I would break your heart, and ruin any good thing we have right now. You're the only good thing I have in my life, and I don't wanna ruin that." I said.

I had to pull the car over because I was way too frustrated. At this point, I was crying uncontrollably over all of my emotions. "Look at me." Nick said. I couldn't do it though. Not after everything I just said.

"Look at me." He said again, but this time it broke me because his voice was so pleading and hurt.

"I know that it's hard to put yourself into something so new. I know what it's like to have my heart broken, and trust me I know that it hurts like hell. But, I love you too much to not take that chance. I'd rather be in love with you and hold you every day and get to call you mine, than to never try at all. I can't sit here and hide my feelings every single day." He said, and a single tear drop fell from his eye.

"Then don't." I said, and leaned in to give him a gentle kiss.

We both were an emotional wreck, and we definitely had more to discuss, but at least everything was out in the open now.

"Okay lets get out of our bag, and go have some fun okay." I said and wiped his face. "Okay." He said, and we continued to drive to his surprise party.

When we parked the car, Jada made me put on a blindfold. "Why do I have to wear this?" I asked while she was helping me out of the car. "Because its a surprise and you're not aloud to see anything yet." She said.

"Fine. But you better not let me fall or run into anything." I said.
Next thing I knew, Jada was guiding me out of the car, and onto a sandy area. "Why are we at the beach?" I asked. "Just shut up Nick and wait until we get there." She said.

After a long walk down the beach, Jada stopped and took off my blindfold. "SURPRISE!!!!" Everybody yelled. "Happy birthday Nick." A guy said to me, but I turned and saw that it was my brothers and my mom. "Hey wassup! I can't believe you guys are here." I said.

"Yeah Jada paid for our flights and got us here." He said. I immediately turned and picked her up into a tight embrace and kissed her. "Thank you so much! I haven't seen them in forever, and you thought to invite them here for my birthday." I said.

"It was nothing. I know you're a family guy so I figured you would want to see your family for your birthday." She said. "I'm gonna pay you back for those plane tickets." I said. "No you're not. It was a present." She said. "Fine. At least let me take you on a date then." I said. "Okay." She said, and kissed me.

"Aww you guys are so cute." Maggie said. "Thanks but it's not official." Jada said. "Oh so we will be eventually though?" I asked with a smirk. "Maybe Mara." Jada said.

"Okay stop with all the lovey dovey shit and get your ass over here so we can get lit." Zion yelled.

We all laughed and let the party continue.