Reckless Passion

Chapter 57

— Chapter 57 —

Song Themes For This Chapter: Almost Lover – A Fine Frenzy; Against The Grain – City and Colour

— Rose —

I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, flattening the wrinkles and tiny rolls left after I put on my fitted, black dress.  It had semi-wide straps and was fitted around my chest, torso and hips; reaching mid-thigh in length.  I wore a pair of fancy closed-toe black heels with the dress.  I wanted to straighten my hair but I thought that might be a bit much, I was going to a funeral not a damn party. 

I wanted to look good in respect for Peter, and I also wanted to look as he would remember me, when he loved me and I loved him.  I still loved him… for who he was when we were together.  I would always have a place in my heart for Peter, the Peter I once knew before everything changed, even if I did love Louis more.

I gently dabbed at the tears that had started to form in the corners of my eyes.  I already had to redo my mascara twice, I really didn’t want to have to do it again; besides, it was 10:25 a.m. I had to get to the church.

“Rosie,” Noah’s voice registers as I hear a knock on my door.

“Yeah?”  I call out to him as I quickly check my eyes to make sure there’s no sign of tears.

Noah appears in the doorway of my bathroom.  He puts a hand up and leans against the doorframe.  “Do you need a ride to the church?”

I tilt my head from side to side, pondering his offer.  “I… I was thinking about taking the bus… to give myself some alone time before…”  My voice trails off as I faintly smile.

“That’s understandable… but wouldn’t you be more nervous taking public transit while wearing funeral attire?  I would think you’d be more comfortable sitting in the car with me.  We don’t have to talk, I can leave you to your thoughts.  Just let me drive you.  I’ll drop you off and you can call me when it’s over if you want.”

I’m quiet for a minute before I shrug and mutter an “okay”.

Noah doesn’t pressure me to talk in the car, as he promised.  He doesn’t even put the radio on, he knows me well; he understands the risk of turning on the radio and having some love song come on and remind me of Peter in some way and I know he’s trying to minimize the pain and heartache as much as he possibly can.  Psychology was the perfect career for him to get into, he was very considerate and compassionate of other people, truly one of the most caring people I have known since forever.

I’m brought out of my reverie as Noah’s eyes briefly make contact with mine.  “You alright?”  He asks, sounding a little concerned.

“Yeah.  Just thinking of how good of a brother you are.”  I smile.  He briefly returns the smile before turning his eyes back to the road.

I turn my head to look out the window and rest my head back against the seat.  My thoughts shift between Peter and Louis.  I had texted Louis late last night but he didn’t respond, perhaps he was sleeping.  It was after all, around 2 a.m. when I texted him.  And he wasn’t much of a morning person so I doubt he was awake yet.

I felt terrible for thinking of Louis when I was on my way to Peter’s funeral.  I felt terrible for being happy with Louis after finding out that Peter was murdered.

What if his parents asked me to say a few words at his funeral?  What would I say?  “I am Peter’s  ex-girlfriend, I loved him very much.  Why was I not Peter’s girlfriend at the time of his death?  Oh because I found someone who I loved more than him and I broke his heart and basically turned him into a psychopath by the time of his death.”