Cutlass | Jeno x Reader | Completed

11

He wasn't sure why he felt like this. Why he was feeling any of this.

How cruel must fate be for him to care so deeply for someone he hadn't known for long? He had to do something about it soon, and rather wait until his feelings grew out of control, he wanted to act now.

"Are you serious?" Mark's spluttering pulls him out of his deep thoughts, catching the look of utter shock on the elder's face. "Captain..."

"It's better this way, you need to understand that." Jeno replies hotly.

The weather has since calmed down since that fateful day of the two of you, yet his mind hasn't settled like the waves. As much as it pained him to do so, Jeno hid himself away in his room, informing every crew member to lock the door behind them as they left him. If there was a chance of you walking in, he pretended to sleep.

It's been, from the counting of the passing moons, three days now. And he was unsure of how much longer he would be able to keep this act up.

"Better for her or for you?" Mark's words are just as venomous. Jeno couldn't remember the last time he used such a tone towards him. "I may be speaking out of line here but this is incredibly selfish. What you've been doing the last few days have been nothing but actions that benefit yourself."

"As if you'd understand how I'm feeling right now." Jeno's hand thoughtlessly brings itself up to rest upon his chest, above the area his heart laid behind. His fingers dig into his jacket as the painful thumps arise again.

"No, I don't. But I know how and what Y/N is feeling, and let me tell you, Captain, it isn't all that pleasant." His knuckles are pale as his fingers tighten around the wheel. Despite his heated mood, it was his duty to keep this ship from crashing against an unbecoming source.

Jeno brings his attention away from his angry crew member, instead opting to look at the vast open sea. He couldn't bring himself to hold a stare off with his navigator at this time. He didn't have the heart to.

"Just set off for its direction." He glumly commands, beginning to tromp off to his Captain's quarters.

He misses the softened expression Mark sends his way, one full of knowing sadness.

—————-

You're stationed in the crow's nest for the morning, seated near Jaemin's feet as he scouts the vast amounts of blue. Your chin is rested in the crevice between your knees as you press your thighs tightly against your chest. The soft sigh that's left your lips is one of many, Jaemin notes.

"Captain just hasn't been feeling well, you know?" He softly stages as not to startle you out of your trance. "Says his shoulder is killing him lately since it's beginning to scab."

Liar. You pitifully think but force a small smile to grace your lips as you look up at him. "I understand." He returns one, genuinely, something you are unable to do at the moment.

Your stomach churns when you think back to the way Jeno has been treating you since that day. One moment, he had you in an embrace that could have been mistaken as a loving one, and the next, he is avoiding you like the Black Plague.

You glance down onto the main deck, finally noticing Mark's figure looking up at the two of you. Had he called for you?

"Need something?" Jaemin hollers, waving at Mark in greeting.

"I wanted to talk with Y/N," he replies, hands cupped over his mouth to carry his voice over to your heightened distance.

You nod, before realizing he problem couldn't see it. "Be right down!"

Once you're safely back on the ground - er, somewhat - you await expectantly for Mark's words. You didn't know what he needed you for, so it was a surprise to see him reaching out to you.

"Am I needed elsewhere?" You ask. "Or do you have another clothing piece needing my attention?"

"Let's go for a walk." His abrupt demand catches you off guard and you momentarily stare at him in a daze. He sees your expression, and adds, "I think it's much needed."

You follow close behind him as he walks off, hands clasped behind his back as he casually strolls. You're unable to find your voice, and Mark seems to notice this.

"How's life on the ship been for you?"

You're confused at the question. It's been asked many times but the atmosphere around you is different this time. It doesn't feel like the other times that were full of friendliness.

"It's fun."

"Fun?" He repeats, the word a bit foreign on his tongue. There haven't been many occurrences where he would describe his time being fun.

"Yes, I've liked my time here. Everyone is nicer than they were before and I truly feel like a crew member now."

"Wouldn't it feel nice to go back home?" For the second time that day, Mark has shocked you with his words. "Be able to sleep in a real bed and not have to worry about being slaughtered in your sleep?"

"My life before this, was not mine." You softly explain, unbothered by the sudden change of expression he makes. "My parents wanted to send me off to a man they themselves had no identity of. His social and wealth status was high in our town, and therefore, was good enough reason to wed their daughter to him."

Mark pretends to not notice your solemn expression as it's painful enough to have this discussion with you. He wanted to gather up their crew and storm into Jeno's quarters, demanding for his change of mind.

"And that was the reason for you to run away?" He receives a nod in answer. "What town did you live in?"

"NeoTown." You respond, not thinking much of his questions at this point.

"That's one rich town." He muses and you weakly chuckle. "Lots of soldiers there too, yeah?"

"Too many to count. My father used to be one as well, and after some time, he believed the aristocratic life was his shining light."

A twinge of guilt settles into the pit of his stomach, and Mark forces himself to look away from you. His own chest felt like it was being crushed by an invisible anchor.