Cutlass | Jeno x Reader | Completed

15

You were unsure what to label cruel in this situation. Was it the growing pit in your stomach which seemed to be giving you an undesirable churning feeling? Or was it how your father emerged from the dining room upon hearing the arrival of someone new?
Or was it how sweetly he called out your name, looking past the servant to meet your eyes with an intense gaze.
Your internal turmoil only grew with each passing second, and you wanted to believe that you were imagining Jeno in a Navy officer's attire, standing at the foot of your doorstep and was beckoning for you to return to him. Was it wrong of you to feel a sense of joy upon seeing him? Despite his abandonment of you?
He came back, a voice whispers.
"May I ask who is asking for an engagement with her?" your father questions, beady eyes taking in his appearance.
"Rear Admiral Jin of the Lower Rank." Jeno salutes during his mock introduction, gaze never leaving your figure. The hat he adorned was beginning to stick to his forehead from the nervous sweat he was producing.
Jeno wasn't sure what overcame him to be doing this sort of thing. No, he does know why. He just wasn't sure why he chose this path to follow. Renjun had the idea, and he had dumbly followed through. He would punish his crewmate later if the plan were to fall through.
He greatly wished it wouldn't, though. Not for the sake of his capture by the Navy, but because he desperately wanted to save you from your own version of Hell. He wanted to fix his selfish actions, and if it meant jumping into a Navy guard's arms, he would.
"Lady Y/N is needed down at the station for questioning. We need a full, detailed explanation of what's happened in order to close out our report." Jeno explains, finally looking at your father with a leveled gaze. "Is now a good time to engage with her?"
Your father looks back at the audience that's gathered in the hall, and with an approving nod of Mr. Nakamoto, he hesitantly sighs. "I suppose it is.We do have afternoon activities to tend to, so if you would be kind enough to have her return within the hour."
"Of course, sir. You have my word of her safe return." Jeno bows in respect before holding out his hand, indicating for you to come forth from your rooted position.
You felt several pairs of eyes on you, including the kind eyes of Yuta, as you clumsily walked towards him. Jeno stepped aside to allow you to leave the house and you turned to look back at your audience. Yuta offered you a knowing smile, and you had the odd feeling he knew what was happening. You were unsure of whether to be worried by this or not.
Not a moment passes by of you two walking away from the house before someone's calling for your attention.
"Excuse me." You both halt your movements. Your palms begin to grow clammy as you turn to look back at your father. "Now, I wanted to keep this to myself, but you look rather young to be a Rear Admiral."
"I'll take it as a compliment, sir." Jeno bows and offers a smile despite the tense atmosphere that was beginning to invade the air. "I know of my young looks."
"I thought the same," he nods in agreement. His lips turn upward into a cruel smirk, "But, you see, I know Jin quite well and unless there are two Jin's under the same rank, it looks as though I have an imposter standing before me."
"Haha... It's humorous you mention such a thing, because... you see-"
Jeno never finished his sentence, because rather than doing so, his fingers are clasping around your wrist and pulling you down the crowded street of town. The suddenness of the situation sends your body into flight-or-fight mode, and you're forced to achieve the fleeing option to ensure your escape.
You weave your way through numerous bodies, and land yourselves in a less populated spot in town. You find yourself in a back alley, located behind an old shop. You're gasping for air, your right palm pressed heavily against your chest, feeling its rapid rising and lowering.
"Are you okay?" Jeno's question startles you, not because it's the first thing he's directly said to you in your unexpected reunion but because he's said it with such sincerity, you're unable to control the heat that rises to your cheeks.
"...Yes." You respond, straightening your posture to face him properly. You feel an overflow of emotions curse through you as you look at him, taking note of the light sheen of sweat that's formed on his forehead as well as the gentle expression he is showing you. You're unable to stop yourself from uttering out, "Why?"
Jeno's forehead crinkles in confusion at the single word. "Why, what?"
"Why did you come back?" You're pained to voice the question, but you needed to know why he was doing this. You didn't want to delude yourself into thinking he was caring for you in this moment. He had dumped you back into the forsaken place you desperately fled from, and you wanted to hate him with every ounce of fiber in your body.
But you couldn't. You cared so deeply for the man before you and his crew that it aches deep within to think of staying separated from them.
You expected him to be taken aback by your question, and he was. There's an instant where you both only stare at each other, either side being afraid to break the silence that's overcome you. You push away the feeling of fright, and allow the remnants of betrayal and anger to take over.
"You've allowed me to delude myself into thinking I was a part of the crew," you utter out, voice thick with emotion. "You gave me a place to stay with my work as payment. You've saved my life, and put yours on the line for mine. Yet, you throw me back into the place I despise with a known passion."
You're pointing at him now, forefinger pressed firmly against the middle of his chest, an act that is disrespectful for a man in his position. "You're a selfish, selfish man, Jeno. A Captain who is so deluded into thinking he knows what's best for him, that he shuts others out. A man who is so cruel, and selfish for making me care so deeply for him."
The tears that brimmed your eyes released themselves as you clenched your eyes shut, not wanting to look at him any longer. The shell-shocked expressions he was presenting was enough to tell you that you were uttering nonsense at this point.
A small whimper escapes your throat and you clench the hand on his chest, beating against it softly. "Why did you leave me?"
The broken state you've fallen into creates a heartache like no other in Jeno's chest. He brings his hand to the back of your head, gently cradling it as he guides you to press against him. An ugly sob escapes you and he lets out a painful sigh.
"This was meant for your safety." He utters out, fingers beginning to smooth themselves against your scalp in an attempt to comfort you. "I know the way I presented my approach was unappealing and caused you pain, but you need to understand that staying with us is dangerous. No good will come out of it for you."
"Then teach me to defend myself. Anything is better than condemning myself to a world of fake happiness and materialistic riches." Your voice is raw and it hurts to talk, but when has something like this stopped you from arguing?
"I... Letting you go was one of the hardest things I've had to do." Jeno confesses.
"Then why come back for me?" You bitterly bite out, escaping from his warming embrace. "Are you bringing me to a different town, then? Leave me there to fend for myself like you've done before?"
"I don't know why I came back for you!" his outburst surprises you, and you take a step back on instinct. "I mean - I know why but you're just... you're too innocent for someone like us."
His breathing has turned ragged now as anxiety fills within him. Jeno was beginning to have his doubts of bringing you back onto the ship. Were you truly this hateful towards him now?
He finds himself stepping towards you, hands reaching towards your face. Jeno cradles your face between his calloused hands and brings your foreheads together, gently pressing them together. His voice is shaky.
"I'm just scared, Y/N...  I could ruin you." He feels your arms encircle his waist followed by a tight embrace that allows his doubts to diminish.
"I know."