A/N This is for @cornish4ever cus she's my bae and even though she doesn't like 5sos *exaggerated gasp* and probs won't read this...
I clasped her pale hand tightly, not wanting to let her go. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up, what I saw was the sorrow filled eyes of some irrelevant person. The tears silently slipped down my cheeks. She had gotten into a crash, a fucking crash. She had been driving home from work and gotten hit by some drunk driver - who just happened to be fine. Her on the other hand, she had severe internal injuries and minor outer injuries. The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only thing that made sense in this fucked up excuse for a world, it gave me hope that she would be alright. I imagined what she would have done in my situation - with me in this hard bed, not responsive to anything. I figured that she would stay calm, so I'm doing the same.
"Ashton," my name is called from right behind me, yet when I hear it, it sounds a mile off. I just keep my head hung low, not wanting anyone to see my tear - stained face. My sobs still echoed through the small, empty room. Someone put their finger under my chin and tilted it up. My swollen eyes found the kind face of Tiffany, her best friend. I grit my teeth and cuss under my breath. "I know," Tiff says to me, as if she was answering a math problem in class. My fingers still trace small circles on the back of her cold hand, they find the tube inserted into her bloody wrist. They tried to clean the blood, but it had already stained her flawless skin. The relentless beeping sound quivered for a second, causing both of our heads to turn toward the wall full of machines. We both just stare at wall, as if it will fix the her quivering heartbeat. The beeping quickly began to pick up speed. My eyes widened and I started screaming for the nurse. They all came rushing in and started fiddling with her lifeless body. Several of them tried to pull Tiff and I out of the room, she went without hesitation but I fought - I fought against them as hard as I could. I just wanted to see my girl, that's all I wanted. By the time they'd finally pulled me out of the room, my sobs were overpowering. I turned my head and started to walk away.
Then the beeping cut out and all I was left with was a deafening silence.
*2 MONTHS LATER*
The cold feeling from the metal reminded me of her last day, when I held her cold hand. She had died in my presence. The funeral had been unbearable - all these people, who didn't know her like I did, coming and saying to me that they were sure she was in a better place. Maybe she was, but I certainly wasn't. She was my ray of sunshine in the storms. My net under the ledge. Loosing her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I had no choice - she would've hated me if I went with her. I was spreading her ashes today, she wanted them in the ocean - said she wanted to be among the waves. She always had a fascination about the waves, how the crash endlessly with no purpose - yet, still they go on - rising and breaking and repeating. The gold cylinder contained her life, the fine specks of ash in this capsule. Was it wrong that all I wanted to do was hold her? It had been two months. My eyes started to water rapidly. I could not contain the tears, so I let them run down my face. I unlatched the top of the container and reached in. The ash I held was as black as the night. I tossed the powder out to the water, letting it consume it. I repeated this process until the container was empty. The I crumbled onto the soft sand. The screams came fast, the inhuman sound tearing from my mouth and into the evening air. I can't take it anymore. I walked to the train station just in time to see the 6:05pm train approaching. I close my eyes and tilt my head up to the sky. Don't worry baby, I'll be with you soon, just as the train comes thundering past I leap out in front of it. I die before I feel any pain. I open my eyes and there is her smiling face once more. I made it.
