𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋
*based on a true story in my life....well some of it. i'll let yall know when it's not real anymore*
*1 month later*
it's been a month and me and grayson have gotten really close. after thinking of what hannah had said, i decided i should meet up with grayson very soon. but not today cause i have a doctors appointment. i'm very nervous and i'll catch you up on why.
growing up i always have had a problem with sugar. i may look fit but since i was 14, (5 years ago) i've been pre-diabetic. i go in every 3 months to get blood drawn so they can keep up with it. i went in a month ago and they called me to tell me they needed to talk about it in person. so here i am, sweating my boobs off, heading to the doctors office.
once inside, i check in and wait for my name to be called. eventually they called me back and i took one last deep breath before i hear the news.
*now this is where it's made up*
"so shaylie, we got your tests back and we noticed something but we figured it would be best to tell you in person rather than over the phone. as we looked at your test we noticed *insert some medical information about diabetic blood* so we did some looking and here we are. shaylie, you are a full diabetic. and i know this is hard to take but there's more. it's so bad that you only have 5 more years left-"
i didn't let him finish. i knew exactly what he was saying and i understand it fully. all he's going to tell me is "to help myself i need to exercise and eat right" but that's all bullshit. that's all i've tried to do my whole life just so this moment wouldn't come and here i am.
"i already know what you're gonna say and it's absolute BS so thanks for the information. bye now" and with that i got up and left.
*back to my life...once it talks about her having 5 years is where it's fake*
i ran out to my car and immediately started driving home. i hadn't eaten due to the fact that my appointment was early in the morning but now i've lost my appetite and i don't plan on eating.....for a while.
i got home, ran up to my room and started crying. i knew i couldnt cry while driving or i could've possibly cut that 5 years down to 10 minutes. i was crying for a while when i heard my door open. i looked up to see hannah then layed back down. she walked over to me with a concerned look on her face.
"was it grayson??" she said with a hint of anger in her voice.
i had completely forgotten about grayson at this point but i had no way to tell him. i havent even met him yet, i really don't want to just put this on him.
"no...i got back from my doctors appointment because they got results back from my tests." i said sitting up and facing her. hannah has known about this since we became friends at 15.
"....is this going where I think it is?" she said with more concern in her face. i could see her tearing up and i felt so bad.
i slowly nodded and answered her question. "i'm fully diabetic"
at the point, hannah was fully crying. she pulled me in for a hug and i started crying even more. she's always been there for me and was there for most of my appointments, praying with me that this day would never come.
i pulled away and looked straight into her eyes. "hannah i'm so sorry to out this all on you but.....i only have 5 years left" and with that she broke down.
seeing hannah cry this much just makes me want to die. i pulled her in for a hug and we sat just like that, crying into each others shoulders for 10 minutes. after we sat in silence with only the sounds of us crying, hannah pulled away.
"..what about grayson?" she knew how much it hurt me to have to tell him.
my last boyfriend left me because he found out i was pre-diabetic and starving myself. i loved him but he told me he could never love a pathetic loser who didn't love herself. that's why i'm afraid to love again.
"i know i need to tell him soon but i don't want to put this on him. we haven't even met yet and i don't want him feeling bad for a "pathetic loser" like me." i stated putting finger quotations up at 'pathetic loser'.
"shaylie. grayson hasn't even physically met you yet and i can tell he has fallen for you more than nate ever did. you need to put the past behind you and focus on your future." she said grabbing my hand.
i pulled away quickly and looked her in the eyes with more tears brimming my own. "what future hannah?? i have five years left. FIVE YEARS!! what kind of future could five years hold??"
i got up and walked to the bathroom but hannah quickly followed me.
"shaylie i know you're upset but 5 years is a lot longer than you think it is. i can see the way your eyes change when you even think about grayson. you love him and it's obvious he loves you too. 5 years may seem short but you guys can still have a future. you just need to tell him." she said walking out of my room and heading to her own.
"she's right...i need to tell him. but not over the phone.." i thought to myself as i grabbed my phone.
me: i really need to talk to you about something.
grayson: well what is it? you know you can tell me anything
me: i can't tell you over the phone.
me: when are you free?
grayson: meet me here tomorrow at 2.
grayson: *insert any address you choose*
me: ok.. are you okay?
he didn't answer me even after 20 minutes. i just left it and went back to my bathroom to clean myself up.
