Letters In My Head

Dear Suicide Note

Dear suicide note, I hope that you are able to string together the words that keep missing my mouth and dragging me down. 

I hope you are able to bring peace to everyone who once knew me, and wreak havoc on those who broke me. I hope you are able to write everything in a delicate font that is easy to read, but hard to figure out. I want the writing to be pretty, please wipe away the tear stains I might leave on this scrap piece of paper and secure the rips I may accidentally cause tonight. 

Dear suicide note, see my heart it's tired, my mind is so damn near shutting down and i'm stuck in the middle of this abandoned fairground I once called my home; dear suicide note, please rebuild this home for my family and for my friends who will say they miss me, even if I question whether they will, I still want a place for them to rest their head when the clouds overcrowd the sun and the rain spoils their fun. I want to give them somewhere to go so they feel safe when my arms are no longer there to wrap them into a hug. 

Dear suicide note, I will fade away soon and i'll dance with the angels that rest their weary head on the clouds above us to share their eternal love, because they know what it's like to feel helpless. Please let my family know that my tired eyes will once again become curious when I stare from the clouds and bless everything they do with the power of eternal happiness that I have missed out on during these many years, there's more then enough to go around.

Dear suicide note, I wish I had more space, there are so many more words I would like to write tonight, however space is slim and i'm wearing thin, so please bless everyone I know and generations to come with hope and help them find a purpose, but for now dear I love you, goodbye. You see, this world was never deserving of me, and I didn't deserve the trauma that came with it.