Letters In My Head

Ocean Eyes

I've been watching you for quite some time, smiles from afar and sounds from a classroom not far from mine, from secrets hidden away and tears leading me astray, to late night phone calls, 8 hours a time and a smile on my face whenever your ocean eyes meet mine, the clouds have began to clear and the rain became lighter with your arm wrapped around my waist and suddenly the time I was hoping to waste became the time I wanted to cherish, from lattes to watching the sunsets in the cotton candy skies to watching the late nights draw in as I tell you about the stars and constellations of that night.

I was so used to black and grey, storms and ashtrays and now i'm having to adapt to someone asking about my day, concern washing over your face when I say things aren't okay. When I look back and see the person I left behind, a version of myself where love was blind and my mental health was crippling under the pressure of living for everyone else beside myself, with no meaning to the hours passing me by as the nights drew in and everything blended into this messy greyscale painting.

With a simple touch the tears are wiped away, my heart it flutters when I hear you say you look so beautiful today, and I stare in awe at those ocean eyes that have seen a thousand nightmares but remain bright underneath the sun as you unpick those parts i'd hidden away, forgetting they were really there and suddenly I hear the sound of my laugh again after so many sleepless nights laying awake wasting away my life, questioning if things were even worth the fight.

Knowing I had strength but not wanting to use it in fear of falling again but suddenly when I slip theres arms there to break that fall before I even hit the ground, safe and sound.

Now I see your ocean eyes in a different light not knowing it was possible for someone to treat me right and now you have shown me my worth and given me chance to breathe and take a moment away from the hectic space in my head that I hated being in, scared to fall but feeling secure around you and that hasn't happened in a while.

I'll show you my favourite songs and share my light, in case you fall and want to give up the fight, because your ocean eyes have saved mine as your arm is wrapped around me holding tight, keeping me warm all of these lonely freezing nights.

I love those ocean eyes.