Living with the boys

Speechless Mistakes

Ryan made me speechless. But he also made me feel bad... but in a good way. I finally felt sexy. For once in my life I felt hot. Maybe it's the alcohol talking but I love this feeling. His hands all over my waist. Grabbing hard on my waist. Almost to the point it hurts but I like the pain. It reminds me I'm human.

He quickly pulled me off the wall and sets me on his dresser. One hand on my rosie cheek and one rubbing my leg... very close to my private. Uhhh it feels so good. My head is spinning slightly but it doesn't stop me. I pull Ryan closer to me making the kiss even deeper.

Ryan's hand is getting closer and closer to my area. My body is hot with excitement and pleasure.

Out tongues fight for domination but he ends up wining. Before I know it I'm slammed into the bed. The sudden impact makes me giggle like a child. Ryan smiles probably thinking about how dorky I am. He pulled me closer to his chest attacking my neck with kisses, bites and sucking. That was definitely going to leave a mark.

Soon his hand was on my area rubbing slightly not to ruff but perfectly. It felt so good. I felt so alive. But like I said maybe the vodka is talking.

I slip my hand under Ryan's shirt. Ohh man. Six pack turned into an eight pack. He's chest was rock hard. I tugged Lightly at his shirt. He slowly stands up and pulls it off and Throws it at me. It hits my face and I burst into laughter. But quickly he pulls it off and continues what he was doing. Soon my laughter turns to moans. Ryan pulls my shirt off soon my pants follow.

Ryan seemed pretty happy with my under clothes. I had a black lace bra with matching underwear. Honestly it's a pretty hot set if I don't say so myself.

He moves down to my chest kissing his way down all the way to my private. He stopes right at my underwear and kisses my area. My moans get louder which seems to make him happy. He continues to kiss my area through my Panties.

"Just Imagine when I take these off" Ryan whispers in my ear. He then backed away and winks as he continues his job.

My cheeks get so red. Was I not supposed to moan? I'm not sure. But what he was doing felt to good not too.

He comes back up kissing me with full force. His hands go behind my back and suddenly my bra falls off. He smiles as if I had given him a car. Ryan grabs my boobs forcefully. He rubs my nips and massages my boobs.

Ryan goes back down to my stomach kissing and sucking all over leaving hickeys from my boobs to my thighs. Ryan takes he's teeth and pulled off my panties. Which only made my body blow with heat.

Ryan's eyes never left mine. He slowly pulled me up to the edge of the bed. He pulled my front down and my back up. My butt was in the air and my head was on the bed. He slowly rubs his little friend on me. And suddenly he sticks it in me with so much force I thought I'd be Thrown into the wall.

My eyes water from the pain but Ryan doesn't stop. It's so painful. I can feel my insides ripping all at once. I cry out but he doesn't hear me over his moans and Pleasure.

"Slow down Ryan." I began to beg him.

"It hurts Ryan" I counting the stars that appeared in my vision.

Ryan gets faster and faster but just as I feel like I'm about to pass out because of the pain Pleasure Explodes everywhere in me. And it feels so good I start to beg for more and faster.

My moans get louder and louder just as I'm about the cum Ryan gets faster making me explode all over his dick. Just a bit after Ryan came in me.

He falls to the bed pulling me with him. He covers both of us with blankets and kisses me one last time.

I lay my head on his chest just about to fall asleep. He whispers in my ear "you're gorgeous" but before I can say anything I'm out.

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I wake up in my bed after a good nights sleep. Man that dream was amazing. I swear it felt real. But I'd never do that kind of thing. Drunk or not. I'm not going to just sleep with some dude. Hot or not. But Ryan was definitely hot.

I stink of alcohol so I decide to take a shower and get clean. I grab a long sleeve and a pair of shorts and head to the bathroom down stairs. I start the water. Hot just how I like it. Kinda like Ryan. No stop thinking about Ryan. It was just a dream. Stupid me.

I take of my shirt and my leggings followed by my under clothes. My body feels sore but that's nothing knew when you quite eating. I put my hair up in a bun and go to brush my teeth. Ohhh no as I stand in front of the big mirror it's clear last night was NOT a dream. It was very real. My body was marked up so much it looks like I had a lot of fun or beaten. If you know what I mean.

Damn that is crazy. Oh no. I had sex... with Ryan... RYAN!

No one can find out about this. What if Ryan thought I was ugly.. maybe he saw my scars... what if he never wants to see me again... maybe he hates me... what if I wasn't good enough... Questions start to pop in my head. My neck is so red and purple. How will I cover these up?  Tears start to roll down my face. This was a mistake. I never wanted this to happen. I actually when to Austin's house... what if he knows.. these nothing I'm more scared of then him.

I sit in the shower scrubbing my skin dry and till it is red. I reopened some of my cuts from a few days ago but it's ok. I don't mind the pain. It actually makes all this feel better. I try to calm myself down. No this isn't what you want! You don't want to cut again. Not because of some guy. It's not worth it. And I believed myself. Well as least for a little while I did.

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Here is another update! Thank you so much for all the positive comments! Please remember there will be grammar and spelling mistakes. I am going to edit after I complete the book. Thank you again! Another update coming soon!!!