Warm December's

(4)

"Yet?" I question continuing the conversion he now started. He leans back crossing his arms as I did. Emma still stands quietly behind me after finishing talking to the lady at the front desk. "All I need to know is that you're a self-absorbed jackass who only cares about himself." I tell him uncrossing my arms and raising my eyebrows. He doesnt seem to be affected at all because the second the words leave my lips he smiles.

"Glad you got me all figured out then." He smirks, and I grow annoyed.

"Me too, not really hard to read." I throw a playful and fake smile right at him, hopping it will somehow bother him like it bothers me.

"It was nice to see you by the way..." He says. "But just to let you know," He paused. The look in his eyes made my heart sink and the words I said only a few seconds ago haunt me. "a family friend owns this hotel, so, Im here quite a lot." He continued. I stood hushful and still, gazing in his eyes, thinking of what to say next, because what could I really say?

"Oh..." I mumble hesitantly with curiosity and embarrassment. I spin around to face Emma smacking my head in humiliation to get away from the conversation with Dean. Emma stands there snickering, her head tilted back as she chuckles. I roll my eyes and try to hide a smile that appears and that somehow, seemed real. I dont want wait to see if hes left, but unfortunately my eyes wander and he is nowhere to be seen. My smile disappears but the interest I see in him stays and I cant help myself but wonder who is he?

I glance around the hotel and take a deep breath. I knew deep down this wasnt going to be the last time that I saw Dean and for some reason happiness grew because there was some mysterious thing about him, and I wanted to find it out. I glance at the lady at the front desk once again, trying to remember why Dean and I would never be friends in the first place. I shake my head; I am not letting myself get caught up in nonsense. Finally we get the key card, and we head to the elevator. He is a just some stupid boy, who spilled coffee on me and happens to be the most obnoxious person I have ever met, but I just have to forget about it.

Have you ever wondered, about the lives other people live? Just looking around at the people that are in the car next to you or the people you pass in the halls, what life are they living? It is hard to understand or compare because no one truly knows their life but that person. The feelings, pain or happiness, it is different to everyone else. The little girl that stands next to me in the elevator smiles as she braids her Barbies hair. A woman stands next to her not caring for the little girl that pulled on her blazer wanting to show her what she did. She seemed distracted as she talked on the phone with a harsh and angry tone, it was none of my business, but I couldnt help it. I wanted a family, a mother, I hated that I couldnt have it. The little girl still stays happy, even when her mom takes her Barbie out of her hands and tells her to stop bothering her. The curiosity in her eyes makes me think of my sister. She was always getting into trouble with how much she wanted to know or see.

The elevator opens slowly as Emma and I walk out. The walls were white, but it had splashes of color as we walked further to our room. Every door we passed brought me to be more anxious. I was scared, of this new life, of everything, without my family. I wanted to survive, for them. I needed to, because if I didnt, this would all be for nothing. Emma stops once we get to door 746; she presses the key card to the door and pushes it open.

My house had never been big growing up. I had a good house that I loved, with a family that I loved. It was small, but perfect, it didnt matter as long as I had them. I shared a room with my sister as well as a bathroom. Being an older sister was hard, especially when sharing most of my things. We would constantly argue and bicker about what belongs to who, or who gets what first but now, I would do anything to just have her just annoy me one more time. I loved her; I love her and my family so much. I want that old house back, with the small old brown wooden table, the low popcorn ceilings, the old TV. I just want them back. I want everything back, everything how it used to be. Sitting here now, in this large hotel room, with the broad glass round table, the high smooth ceilings, and big flat screen TV made me cringe. Everything, just everything reminds me of them. I miss them, I miss when life wasnt so damn hard.