hobbledehoy

Burrito Of Sadness

I feel as if my heart has been shattered, and the pieces are scattered. And no one in the world can put me back together.

A broken heart is the most painful thing you can ever experience, I hope you never have too. It's like having broken ribs. Nobody can see it, but it hurts every time you breath.

I tried calling her, I didn't care how sappy and pathetic I sounded, I just desperately needed to talk to her.

Merlynn was killing me, she was making me fall apart.

I get that I'm a man, and I should be tougher than an overcooked steak. But... I'm depressed and distressed.

I just want to watch TV and eat Big Macs.

Which is what I've been doing all afternoon.

I wrapped myself up in a giant, fluffy blanket and crashed on the couch.

"Dude. Hyrum. This is sad." Tatum says, I almost forgot he and Roland were standing behind the couch.

"He's like a sad burrito." Roland sighs.

"I think that's his seventh big mac." Tatum watched me take a large bite out of another sandwich.

I picked up my soda, orange fanta. I haven't ever liked it. But she did...

"Hyrum, why are you even watching this?!" Tatum tried to take the remote from me, to turn off the supernatural marathon, but I wouldn't let him.

"Yeah! This show terrifies you." Roland says, plopping down in my bean bag.

"She loves it..."

"We need to get him out of here." Tatum says, and Roland nods in agreement.

"No! My sad, unlovable body has become one with this couch." I poured the last of my beer into my soda, mixed it up, and continued drinking and eating my giant burger.

"Look at this place!" Roland gestures around my pizza box, Chinese takeouts, beer bottled scattered room, "You hate messes! And beer!"

"Shut up, Roland, for Christ sake! For once! Just shut up!" I yelled angrily, "This is all your fault anyway!"

"How is it to my fault?!" Roland asks with his hands out defensively.

"You told me to tell her how I felt," I snarled roughly, "And look how well that went!"

"What? You wanted to be in the friend-zone forever?"

"You ruined our relationship!"

"You know what, Hyrum?" Roland got up and smacked the sandwich out of my hand, "You're not the only one here that's in a bad relationship, okay? And you would see that if your head wasn't so far up your ass!"

Tatum tried to stop him from leaving, but Roland wasn't interesting in staying anymore.

Great. Now everyone is mad at me.

"What the heck was he whining about..." I shook my head and laughed rudely.

"He's right you know..." Tatum stuffed his hands into his sweatpants pockets and shrugged, "We came here to help you, and you've been an arsehole the entire time. Plus, Roland is having a bad enough time, with his ex-girlfriend not letting him see their kid and all..."

"Roland has a kid? He's like twenty-one!"

"Yeah, a daughter. Her name is Macy, I think she's four, maybe five..."

My stomach dropped. A pang of guilt arose inside of me, and it felt terrible.

"Tell him I'm sorry, will you?" I was embarrassed, and I asked with my face a bright red color.

"I will," Tatum walked to the door, "But you should when you get the chance, mate."

I didn't watch him leave, but I heard the door shut.

Asshole.

Yeah, I'm aware, thanks...

I wish I could just go back in time... Fix what's obviously broken. Actually, I won't to go back in time, and punch myself in the face.

This is why I avoid falling in love. Everything that falls gets broken, I suppose. And sometimes, there isn't anyone to fix you. Because the person you hoped would give you happiness, won't even talk to you.

I use to have butterflies in my stomach every time I saw her, or even thought of her. But now... Now it's like all the butterflies are dead.

It's easier to just lay here with my eyes shut and my heart heavy.