hobbledehoy

Down

I spent three days on that couch.

And three days was enough. My dorm was a mess, and I smelt like dumpster.

So I swallowed my self-pity, and took a long shower.

I cleaned up what I could, some areas where I had spilled soda or dropped take-out boxes--would take a little extra work. And I had missed all of my Friday classes, and I knew that was definitely going to come back and punish me.

Luckily, Tatum and Ali had taken notes for me. Roland still wasn't in the mood for taking to me, he was busy with the play; unfortunately, I had missed two rehearsals.

People were staring more than usual today. Wes must have told everyone about Merlynn and I.

Keep you head down.

I couldn't tell if the voice was trying to help me, or was just as ashamed of me as I am.

I accepted whatever extra homework I could, so I could catch up on whatever I missed. I also missed a couple mail shifts, so I picked up work in the mail room after 6.

Is there a stronger word than 'miserable'? I can't think of one, but I'm sure one exists. And it'd probably explain how I feel better than anything else I can think of, or say.

Today was a lot like the days I'd always have before I met Merlynn and my other friends. I felt alone. Tired. Awkward, or at least more than usual. I kept my head down, my eyes went over the patterns on my sweater vest.

Look at what you've done, Hyrum, you've created a new level of pathetic.

Yes, I'm aware of that. And I don't really care. Not right now.

Honestly, it's hard to care about anything right now, nothing seems worth my time. I just need to focus on my job and my education. My Father warned me about this, he told me not to get distracted; "Stay sober, and don't bother with women." is what he said to me. And I should have listened, because I've managed to fail at both.

If only my parents could see me now... Can't say I know how that'd react, we've never been that close. And I haven't really seen or talked to them since I got to PIne Parks... My fault, again, I can't even keep in touch with my own family.

I guess I can't really do anything.