hobbledehoy

What I'm Trying To Say Is...

Today sucked.

Here's what happened, the important stuff at least;

Roland came through all the way. Apparently a janitor (Tatum dressed as a janitor) accidentally stumbled upon Wes's gym bag, and found a small package full of illegal substances.

Yes. My best guess is that my friend had planted drugs on Merlynn's boyfriend. Apparently that was the only plan they could come up with.

But nevertheless, it worked. I mean, Wes's Dad was the Dean, so he got chewed out--yes. But he didn't get kicked out of school. He did reschedule on Merlynn though.

Roland said he'd send her to me, but I had to do the rest.

So I cleaned, and recleaned my dorm; because if I was going to go through with this, I needed everything to be perfect.

I've never been brave before. And I didn't think I'd ever be able to do something like that again.

You know, if I had actually done it.

"Roland told you what?" I asked her when she showed up at my door.

"That your Mother died!" She replied, "And I quote, Hyrum desperately needs to feel the warmth of a female body."

And so she rushed over right away, which was very sweet of her, but I planned to strangle Roland anyway.

I sat her down, ready to open up and confess absolutely everything.

But then my worry kicked in. Because it always does. I worry, over think, and constantly give up on myself.

Yes, with all my heart, I wanted Merlynn Park. In a way I didn't even understand, because it didn't make any sense.

But I couldn't bring myself to say it.

And she sat there, ranting on about how her day with Wes was ruined and she was hoping to find Roland soon, and brutally murder him.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is... There's no hope for me. Or us. Because I'm too scared to admit my feelings.

"So... Did you actually need something? Did you have something you wanted to say to me?" She asked, and I forced myself to get rid of the gloomy, heart-wrenching expression on my face--and put on my most charming grin.

"No. But it's always nice to see you."

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Short chapter because I'm working hard on the next one ;) It's a heart breaker for anyone that ships #Merrum (thanks to BeautyMe101!)

Anyway. Stay tuned :)