Finding Him, and Finding Myself (Werewolf)

Different side of me

Ravens POV

I have had a crazy week shall I say. Well actually I haven't really said anything. Since we all came home its been quiet. Everybody is sorta avoiding me. They only talk to me when it has to do with the pack.

I haven't seen Rhett since that night. By the way its been three days since then. I don't know if I should go talk to him or not. Don't get me wrong I'm still pissed at him there's no changing that but the fact that I started to like him and then find this out. He knew. My own best friend knew and still didn't tell me.

I understand that its hard but when your dealing with a Alpha female with anger issues its hard to tell them something a secret youve kept for so long. I get that but you cant keep important stuff like that to yourself.

To be honest I would like to see where this go, but I don't know how it would work. Not to be cocky but I'm much stronger and level minded then Rhett. He might be strict and an ass but that doesn't mean anything. I mean I even get along with the older Alphas . They think its okai to have an Alpha female as for Rhett he doesn't. 

I know now that me and him are mates but I just don't think that we should be. Maybe. Idk. Its too much really. 

I have a lot on my mind right now. I have been in my office all day. I would like to go downstairs but I feel like everybody will just not pay any attention. If I have to I will go all Alpha on them and make them pay attention. I might be nice but I do what I have to.

Knock Knock Knock.

I get up to go answer my office door and when I open I don't see anything. I was about to close it when I feel something on my leg. I look down and I see Holland. 

"Hey there baby girl" I say while picking her up

"What are you doing huh? Shouldn't you be with your momma? Did you really crawl all the way here?"

She looked up at me and stuck her finger in her mouth while wrapping her other arm around my neck.

"I guess someone needs a nap huh? Well lets go sit down."

We go sit in my office chair and she automatically cuddles into me. 

"You know Holland I've been through a lot of stuff as an Alpha.... you don't even know what that word means but still. I have and someday I don't know how to feel. I a while ago found my mate baby girl but he ran from me.....that guy was Rhett....yes that mean man that comes over and bothers us. hahaha. He and I are suppose to be together forever but its hard. I looked for him and I found him but I feel like the hardest part in this whole thing is finding myself."

I look down at her and she's sound asleep griping onto my shirt while still sucking on her thumb. I hope that I one day have a bunch of kids that I adore as much as I adore her. She's so sweet and so calm. 

"I now know that once I find out who I want to be I'll finally find myself."

I sit there for a while longer until I fall asleep myself. 

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Rhetts POV

"So Cole what do you think I should do? Its been two days and she still hasn't talked to any of us." I say

"Well dude I don't know. Raven is her own person and she'll talk when she is ready too." Cole say

I know he's right but I just wanna go and see her. Maybe me and her could leave the past in the past and focus on the future.

Rhett dude you sound like a sap. Your an Alpha! Yes we want our mate but you cant be all emotional  right now. We have to focus on the important thing which is she is upset and we need to be the strong Alpha she needs beside her.