Follow You (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

Intimacy

When we got back to my apartment, it was only 10pm since we'd left the party much earlier than anticipated. I immediately went to the couch with Oli, sat down beside him and took his hand; trying to look at it without hurting him.
"It's fine, honestly." he said as I inspected it. I was just trying to check there was nothing broken but I liked that he was being a little vulnerable and letting me nurse his busted hand. I was leaned in so close to him and even though I couldn't see, I knew how close his face was to mine as I looked down at his hand. I wanted to kiss him again but I knew it wasn't the right moment.

I grabbed the bag of frozen peas and sat them on top of his hand.
"I'm sorry you had to see me like that." he said apologetically. "I couldn't give a shit what anyone says about me, but I couldn't let him, of all people, stand there and call you that." he said. 
"Oli, It's fine. I'm just glad you were there." I said, resting my head over onto his shoulder again before standing up.

I leaned down and took off my shoes, and he sat back on the couch as I went to the kitchen.
"Can I get you anything?" I asked. He said he didn't want anything, but I still poured him a glass of water. I headed back to the couch, flicked my feet up onto the couch and rested my head in his lap. I just wanted to lay there with him, against him. 

"You know I was so naive back then," I said, thinking back to when I had been in a relationship with Steve. "Honestly, I was like a lost little girl." I added, exhaling just thinking about it. "Him and the other guys really fucked with my confidence and trust in people." I admitted, suddenly feeling like I wanted to talk to him about my past.
"You never deserved any of it, Joy." Oli said sympathetically. "It kills me to think you had to deal with all of these idiots." he admitted.
"I always wonder how different things would be if that bad stuff never happened." I said. "Like even in London, I wasn't really me." I added. "I was so unsure of myself and scared of a lot of things." I admitted, thinking about how afraid I was of having feelings for Oli.
"I understand, but you are so hard on yourself. You went through more bullshit than anyone should have to, but you were still this kind, caring person." Oli said. "Maybe you don't realize how amazing it is that you were always this sweet and kind person; even after all the bad stuff that you had to go through." he said, suddenly stroking my hair. "Nobody would ever guess you'd been through so much." he added. 
"I guess so..." I said, thinking about what he'd said.
"I wish you never felt any of that hurt, I really do, but maybe if you hadn't, you wouldn't have gone to London and we wouldn't have even met." he added.
"I don't even want to imagine that." I exhaled, looking up at his face. I really didn't. Oli was one of my favourite people in the entire world.
"Me either." he said with a smile.
"You know, I think we still would have met." I admitted.
"Me too. I'm pretty sure fate would have crossed our paths somehow." he said. I just laid there staring up at him as he softly ran his fingers through my hair. I wondered if he truly believed that we were always meant to meet and I thought about how fate had always seemed to bring us together back in London, then how it seemingly kept us apart here in the USA.
"I know we're both really busy, and always moving around, but I don't want to not see you again." I admitted.
"I promise you that will not happen." he replied. "I will move heaven and earth to see you again." he added with a smile.

I stared up at him and I just thought about how I'd told myself I didn't want to get too close to him... how I'd stopped myself from ever letting myself feel anything and how deep down, I had always liked him more than I'd ever led on. I'd had so many moments where I'd wanted to kiss him, but I'd been so afraid of getting hurt that I just ran from what I wanted, but I guess I wasn't really afraid anymore. As he said he'd move heaven and earth for me, I believed him. After tonight's events, I believed that he would probably do almost anything for me.

"You know I was so scared of letting go of my past back in London..." I said. I just stared at him and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest at the honesty about to come out of my mouth. "I guess I didn't realize how much I liked you until you left." I said. "And then it was too late." I admitted. He just stared at me thoughtfully, but his eyes were intense.
"I didn't know what I wanted back then..." I said, still holding his gaze. My head was spinning as I said the words; I only hoped he would understand what I was telling him. 
"I always knew what I wanted..." he replied. 

My heart felt like it was going to come right out of my chest. I could read between the lines... I knew what he was saying, and he was saying that he had always wanted me. I felt my entire body flood with adrenaline and completely surrender at the same exact moment.

I sat up and turned to face him and I just stared at him for a moment. My heart was thumping harder than ever as he stared at me without saying a word. It felt like time stood still as I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. You know that saying 'actions speak louder than words'? Well, I guess he believed in it. His eyes moved from my eyes to my lips, and then back to my eyes before he finally leaned in and kissed me. I closed my eyes as his lips met mine; he was gentle and didn't rush, but I let my tongue touch his lips, letting him know I wanted him to really kiss me. He knew what I was asking for and he kissed me deeper; holding my face in his hand. After all that time, he was finally kissing me, and I couldn't think about anything else.

"I've always wanted you." he whispered softly as he pulled away, stopping right in front of my face. His eyes were piercing into my soul and he was so incredibly gorgeous that I felt weak. His words sent a rush of adrenaline throughout my body and it was like they flipped a switch in my head because I suddenly wanted him so badly. I leaned in and kissed him again; throwing my leg across him so that I was straddling his lap. I held his face in my hands and kissed him passionately as his arms wrapped around my body tightly. The moment felt so intense and as I looked down at him, I knew I was going to give in completely.

"I want you so badly, Oli." I said urgently.