Follow You (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

Alternative Press Awards

My last night in Los Angeles before the start of my crazy 3-weeks of work was spent attending another awards ceremony; the inaugural Alternative Press Awards. It was a new show, and I could have given it a miss given I was on a flight the next day, but it was the music I loved, and so many great bands were performing so I wanted to go. Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, Twenty One Pilots, Asking Alexandria, Sleeping With Sirens... as if I could say no to that. I'd just have to have a short stay at the after party as to not make getting up for the flight the next day a nightmare. I could swear that awards shows always landed on a night before I had to be up early the following day.

The Alternative Press Awards were definitely different to the more mainstream awards ceremonies like the VMAs and Grammys, with most bands turning up in ripped jeans and casual attire, and it also felt less formal than the Kerrang! awards too, but I preferred the vibe. It felt less about being seen and more about celebrating the industry and just hanging out with cool people.

I dressed kind of simply; a short, black dress with strategic cut outs on the side - nothing too wild or raunchy, plain black stilletos and a leather jacket. Makeup was natural too, apart from a dark and moody, smoky eye as usual. Luiz accompanied me again, and the show was set up as a nominee area, then a stage/mosh pit for the masses to enjoy the performances. I was surprised to find out that Bring Me The Horizon were nominated for two awards, and it crossed my mind that they might be there, but I figured it was unlikely they would fly all the way to LA just for an awards ceremony. As we sat and waited for the show to start, Luiz skimmed through the nominees. "Your band is up for International band and Album of the year." he said, referring to Bring Me The Horizon. I was surprised that they were up for one of the big awards of the night; 'Album of the year', but since they were against all of the big-hitters of the alternative music world, I didn't hold much hope for them winning. I guess I secretly kind of hoped they would though, since it was for Sempiternal, their album which I really did love.

The ceremony was almost like a great music festival with a dream line-up, with people winning awards between the sets. Everybody that won awards were incredible; Brendon Urie was first up with Best Vocalist, Fall Out Boy followed with Best Artist... it was like a best of the best. When it came to the 'Best International Band' award, I wasn't super surprised when Bring Me The Horizon were called out as the winner considering the bands they were against, but my stomach flipped when I saw Oli and his shaggy brown hair headed toward the stage.
"Oli's here?" Luiz said in a questioning way. I felt my heart rate skyrocket as I watched Oli climb the stairs and appear on the stage. I definitely didn't expect to see him, and even more so, to see him on his own; without the rest of the band. I knew how awkward he got and he'd always said he hated public speaking, so I imagined this would be his worst nightmare having to do it on his own. Luiz leaned in and said that he was surprised to see him there. He wasn't the only one, believe me. I couldn't believe he was in LA. Oli's speech was quick, starting off with an awkward 'Hello' and 'I don't really know what to say'. He seemed uncomfortable, but he also seemed happy to have won. He had cut his hair shorter since the Kerrang! Awards and he looked good. I guess he was kind of dressed up, wearing a black suit with a red flannelette shirt underneath. I also can't deny how much I still liked his accent, though the amount of times he dropped the F-bomb was ridiculous.

Even though Oli being there played on my mind, I was out of my seat dancing when Panic! At The Disco performed, as were many others, and I cheered when Fall Out Boy won their second award. Luiz disappeared and came back, telling me he had gone to see if he could see where Oli was. I wasn't sure why... Maybe so he could make sure I didn't accidentally run into him I guessed. As it came to the end of the show and they were going through the nominees for 'Album of the year', I actually felt nervous. I could only imagine how Oli must have been feeling. I mean, I didn't think it was possible for them to beat out the other bands like Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Panic, Sleeping with Sirens and about 5 others, but I secretly wanted them to. It was a phenomenal album. I felt tense waiting for the envelope to be opened and the winner announced. "Surely they can't win this." I said to Luiz. He just shrugged.

'And the winner is... Sempiternal, Bring Me The Horizon!' one of the presenters announced.

I felt a rush of adrenaline flood my body and I automatically broke into a smile; I couldn't help myself. I clapped and nodded in agreeance to their win, and I was really proud in that moment. I know things went sour and that Oli and I weren't friends anymore, but I was still happy for the guys – especially for Oli since he was the powerhouse behind writing it. Luiz could see how happy I was and grabbed my hand. "It's sweet that you're still so happy for him." he said. I looked at him and shrugged. The past was the past and I didn't need to hold onto grudges.

Oli seemed really nervous as he walked up to accept the award, and his face seemed serious. 'Hello' he said again in that incredible accent, his face showing a strange look of fear. As he started talking, my smile dropped, and I felt my expression change listening to his words. He was speaking so fast that it was almost hard to understand him, and he said 'fuck' more times that I could count, but the story he was telling definitely wasn't something I expected to hear.

"I want to say something that I never thought I'd actually talk about," he began. "I was a fucking drug addict. I was addicted to a drug called ketamine. I was on it for years and I was fucked off my head," he added. "No one fucking knows this, but earlier this year I went to rehab for a month. When I got out of that rehab I didn't want to fucking hurt anymore, I just wanted to do what I love. This award means so much to me, and it's all thanks to you, so thank-you very much." he finished.

I was sitting there with my mouth open as what he said slowly sunk in. Luiz grabbed my hand as Oli disappeared off the stage.
"Holy shit. I'm assuming you didn't know that." Luiz said. I just sat there staring in shock. My first thought was how bad I felt for him. "Are you alright?" Luiz asked, seeing how clearly affected I was by what Oli had just said.
"Yeah, just surprised." I said.
"Maybe that's why he disappeared all of a sudden after London?" Luiz suggested.
Maybe he was right.