Follow You (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

Communication

The next morning I was back on a plane – but at least heading for something fun that would hopefully get me out of my slump after last night; the MTV music awards in New York. It was my first time going, but something I was super excited about. I messaged Behati from the airport, telling her what had happened the night before. She was as surprised as I was that Oli was there, but of course more surprised about what he'd said in his speech; and that was before I told her how horrible it had been speaking to him. She couldn't believe her ears when I told her that he was completely uninterested in speaking to me.

"You should have asked him straight up why he stopped talking to you." she said a little angrily. I know she just wanted to try and be supportive, and to help me have closure to something that had bugged me for so long, but I didn't really even want to think about it.
"It's fine, I guess we're just never going to be friends again..." I said. I truly believed that.
"I'm really disappointed, Be..." I admitted, maybe letting her into my thoughts a little too much.
"I know..." she said with an exhale. "I really can't believe it." she admitted. "Maybe he was just freaked out about seeing you." Behati said back thoughtfully, trying to cheer me up. My mood had plummeted.
"You know I haven't felt this miserable in months." I said in frustration.

Once I was in New York, it was straight to the hotel, into hair and makeup and into my outfit for the night. Even though I had felt kind of down in the dumps earlier, I snapped myself out of it - tonight was after all a really fun event. I got to be a bit more crazy with these types of shows, and quite honestly, you had to try and stand out to get noticed on the red carpet. I went for a more OTT sexy look; a strapless and very short gold and black sequined dress, paired with sky-high black stilletos and a simple choker. It was cool, but I looked modest compared to a lot of the other people walking the red carpet.

The show was pretty spectacular... from Miley Cyrus' multiple, almost-naked outfits as host, to the amazing performances by the most famous musicians in the world, not to mention all of the people there that I was got to meet. I partied way too hard at the after party, and felt like death when I had to wake up the next day for my flight to Toronto... but it was impossible not to get caught up in the atmosphere of the VMA's; they were just so wild. Maybe the alcohol helped me feel like I was escaping the past 24 hours a little too. I had to wear extra concealer for the iHeart Radio awards the following night, but I still had a lot of fun. I made Luiz kick me out of the after party after just an hour to try and reserve some kind of energy for the following days.

There was no rest for the wicked, with a super long flight back to my homeland; Australia the following afternoon. I was relieved to be flying business since it was something like 26 hours all up, and I only had 1 day after landing before heading into Australian Fashion Week commitments. I knew the time difference was going to be a struggle, but I managed. I was firstly in Sydney to make a guest appearance on a TV show and do a bunch of photoshoots, before flying to Melbourne for more photoshoots and rounding out my time in Australia by walking the runway for Alex Perry at Melbourne Fashion Week. Alex Perry was the designer who gave me my big break in Australia many years ago, so it was pretty surreal to be working with him again. It was nice to be in my home country, and everyone that I met seemed to love that an Aussie model had 'made it' overseas, but I didn't really have any time to enjoy being there. I decided when I eventually had some time off that I was going to go back.

While I was in on my whirlwind tour of Australia, Luiz noticed, and informed me, that Oli had followed me on instagram. My initial reaction was 'why' since I had now accepted that he wasn't interested in knowing me, but of course it made me curious. I clicked into his profile and looked at what he'd posted. It was mostly live photos since Bring Me The Horizon had just started a tour in the USA, and then, from the early hours of the morning after the Alt Press awards; a photo of the words 'I think we're doomed', handwritten, I assumed by him, on what looked like a napkin from the after party venue. I felt my heart thump. Maybe I was being vain, but my immediate thought was that it was about me... about us. I just looked at it for a moment wondering if I was reading into too much... was it some kind of cryptic message? Surely it was nothing to do with me.

I didn't know when he had followed me again, or why, but I started thinking about that night at the Alt Press awards again. The speech... what Luiz had said about him maybe just being nervous, or shocked to see me... then the 'doomed' post. Maybe Luiz was right and he was feeling as terrible about it as I was and following me was his way of letting me know he didn't hate me. EUGH. Just thinking about it was giving me a headache. I opened instagram again and without thinking about it, I followed him back. I figured I was leaving the ball in his court by doing that... it meant he could message me if he wanted to, and if not, well then I don't know why he followed me in the first place. I'd opened the line of communication like Luiz had told me to do, and now it was up to him.

The next morning I woke up to see that he'd liked my latest photo. As I sat down at breakfast in the hotel with Luiz, I told him what had happened.
"Well, he wouldn't have followed you if he wanted nothing to do with you." was the first thing Luiz said. I guess I thought the same; that would make absolutely no sense. 
"Remember I told you that the communication might need to start with you?" Luiz asked as he shoveled breakfast cereal into his mouth. I remembered, and I guess it had sort of worked with me following him and it leading to him 'liking' something, so in the spur of the moment, I sent Oli a DM. What did I have to lose anyway, right?

'Hey, I just saw you're on tour in the US. Have a great time.' 

It was short and simple, and something that left space for either a one-word reply, or a fucking novel. It seemed like a good way to guage how he felt about me contacting him.

My phone made the notification noise about 2 minutes after I'd put it down and I immediately looked at Luiz, who was still munching on cornflakes. "That's probably him." he quipped. He was right.

'Thanks. It would be cool if you could make a show some time.'

The gesture was kind and I guess the fact that he'd suggested we be in the same room again meant he didn't totally loathe the idea of being friends. I told Luiz what he'd said and he smiled at me. "I knew the guy didn't hate you." he said with an eye roll.
"Still... that's a pretty general comment." I replied.
"Baby steps, Joy. Baby steps." he said. I think he was sick of hearing me talk about it to be honest.

Over the next few days Oli and I ended up exchanging a few instagram story likes and a few comments through direct messages when I had a little down time, it was nothing much really, just things like 'looks awesome' or 'omg'... and some likes on pics from his tour and photos I posted from fashion week. I guess it made me feel better, though I still felt weird about the Alt Press awards... I couldn't just forget about that night.

On my last night in Australia, as I was about go to go sleep, I noticed that Oli had actually sent me a DM. It wasn't just an emoji reaction to a story, it was a proper message. He had sent a link to an article about the Alt Press Awards saying that there was a picture of me in there with Fall Out Boy. It was kind of random since they were over a week ago now, but I suppose he was just sharing it incase I hadn't seen it. And maybe he used it as his gateway to get onto the topic of that night, because after I'd seen the article, he sent through a message apologizing for our awkward meeting. 

'I want to say sorry for the way I was at the after party too. I was really taken back to see you, but I know I could have handled it better.' he wrote.
'I thought you hated me.' I sent back.
'I would never hate you.' he replied.

Even though I'd been kind of mad about it, what he said made the anger melt away. It made me realize that Luiz was right about him just being nervous... and I guess I could understand. I felt guilty for having reacted the way I had. I had been too hard. I told him not to worry about it and that it was in the past, and that was how my trip back to Australia ended. I was glad that it had all been smoothed out, and even though I knew we'd never be as close as we once were, at least now I didn't feel so horrible about everything.