Follow You (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

Confused

As I sat there with the stylist doing my hair and makeup, I couldn't think of anything apart from Oli. It was only 3 days ago that we'd been so intimate, and already, I felt like it was a distant memory. I didn't want him to forget about me, but I felt like the distance was already dragging us apart. I remembered what Behati had told me about messaging him and making sure that he knew that I was thinking about him and she was right. I had barely spoken to him, and it couldn't be all on him, so I messaged him.
"I really miss you." I sent with a sad face. He replied a few minutes later saying he missed me too, but it didn't really make me feel any better. I started stalking him a little, and somehow I ended up on some fan page where there was a tonne of photos of him with his exes. Seeing the way he was with them made me feel strange, maybe even a little jealous, and I started feeling like he would never be like that with me. Not outside of sex, anyway. I was nothing like them. The self-doubt started creeping in, and I started to feel down. I didn't want to go to this stupid after party.

"Be, I'm feeling really shit." I messaged to Behati, hoping she'd be around.
"Oh no?" she asked almost immediately.
"I'm not the type of girl he wants long-term." I said.
"Oh no babe, what's happened? What do you mean?" she asked.
"Google Oli's exes, Be... they're all the same. Dark hair, pale skin, petite, tattoos... they're the complete opposite of me." I replied. "That's the girl he dates. I mean, maybe the idea of fucking a lingerie model is fun, but I'm not the type of girl he would actually be with." I said.
"Joy... why do you think things like this?" she asked.
"We've barely talked. It's just physical. I'm not his type" I replied.
"I think you're wrong." she said. "Joy, look at your exes, do any of them have 1000 tattoos or dress in ripped clothes?" she asked.
"No." I replied.
"And you like him... but he's nothing like your exes." she stated.
"I guess so." I replied.
"So why do you think he's standing there with a cookie-cutter of his exes, and going to reject you cus you don't fit in it?" she asked. I started to feel silly.
"I feel insecure because I'm not what he likes." I admitted.
"Honestly Joy, the way you talk about yourself sometimes is ridiculous. You make it sound like you're a troll. Like, you're fucking gorgeous and you're worried he's going to not think you're as attractive as his exes? Like are you actually insane?" she asked. "Is this cus of the Zac thing?" she asked suddenly. "I saw the photos. Were you on a date?" she added.
"Kind of." I replied honestly.
"Well, you shouldn't feel bad about it... I mean, it's not like Oli asked you to be official, but you also can't have them both." she said.
"I don't want them both, but I don't think Oli really wants me." I admitted. "I think he likes me, and I think he liked sleeping with me, but I don't think it's ever going to be more. It's only been 3 days since he was here and we've barely spoken." I said sadly.
"I don't know what to say Joy...." she said. I hated feeling like this.

I went off to the party feeling pretty deflated. I obviously didn't show that to the photographers and people at said party, but I kind of wished I could just go home. I hated that I felt like this, and I kind of hated that it was because of Oli. He literally made me so happy a few days ago, and now I was feeling so terrible because I was so confused. Luiz seemed pre-occupied with his phone all night too, which just made me feel lonelier than I already did, so eventually I went home; 2 hours before I usually would. As I sat in the taxi home, I saw Oli had posted a photo of the New York skyline with no caption. It was obviously taken from the Brooklyn Bridge. I liked it and put my phone away, I just wanted to have a shower and go to bed and hopefully wake up feeling better tomorrow for the Alexander Wang show.

"Joy, Did you leave?!" A message popped through from Luiz.
"Sorry, I just didn't want to be there anymore." I replied.
"That's Ok, Are you alright?" He asked.
"Yeah, Just feeling a bit sad." I replied.
"You really like him don't you?" Luiz asked. I knew he was referring to Oli.
"Yeah, and I miss him." I said honestly.
"I promise, everything will be ok." he said reassuringly. "Just get a good night's sleep and I'll see you at check in at 10:30, ok?"
"Yep, Thanks, See you then." I said.

I got home and took a shower then crawled straight into bed. I had a message from Zac which surprised me and caught me a little off guard.
"Hey, your manager said you weren't feeling well so headed home. I hope it wasn't the cookies! Feel better and take care of yourself." It read. He was really sweet, but I just didn't want to deal with him, Oli, or anyone at that moment, and I groaned loudly. God, I swear they always made my life into such a mess. I sent a Thankyou out of courtesy and then messaged Behati. 

"Be, I wish the universe would give me some kind of sign on what the fuck I am supposed to do."
"I know honey, just give it time." she replied.

It was only midnight, but I shut off my bedside light and curled up in my bed. I hugged my pillow which was definitely no substitute for human contact, but it was all I had.

I woke up the following morning and got myself ready for another day of Fashion Week. I had another massive show so needed to be at my best, and while a good nights' sleep helped, I still felt confused about everything with Oli - and also Zac.

"I have something to cheer you up." Luiz had messaged me while I was making breakfast. I wondered what it was, but didn't ask. I got myself ready and put on something super gorgeous to try and make myself feel better, and headed down to Bryant Park as usual; past the press, through the gates and to the model check in area. Luiz wasn't there waiting for me as he usually was which seemed very strange. I checked myself in and as I was doing so, Luiz messaged me and said he was waiting by the entrance to the backstage area. What the hell was he doing back there? I shrugged and started wandering to where he said he was, oblivious to anything that was going on. I looked up as I turned the corner and started walking toward the door, and I realized Luiz was speaking with someone, though I couldn't see who it was past him. As I got closer, and my heels obviously alerted them to my approach, I saw brown hair, I saw brown eyes, and then I saw lips that curled into a huge smile as he saw me... that smile that I loved so much...

"Oli?!" I said, taking in a deep breath.