A Father's Love

Ch. 9- Panic Attack

*Trigger Warning- Panic Attack described in detail here

Poppy's POV

I felt my stomach twist and knot with apprehension as the smell of bacon overwhelmed it. Jake was stood at the stove in his workout gear, frying some bacon and sausages whilst Martha waited expectantly at his feet. I think he suspected something was up but was too worried to ask me about it, I wasn't going to tell him. He and Lisa both had a full day of work today; Jake was doing press all day for his new film coming out at the end of the year and Lisa had three auditions. I wasn't going to worry them when they were so excited and Jake had explained that he made many contacts for his films at these events. I knew how much that film meant to him so I wasn't going to distract him from that. There was a lot at stake for Lisa as well she had done modelling before and is always being interviewed about her fashion along with her acting. I walked to school knowing that Jake had his first show in an hour, but I was already shaking with the thought of going into school and facing whoever it was. To be honest, I already had a pretty good idea of who it was. The same girl who had been giving me grief for months because I'm just an easy target. Amy Howard. The first two periods went by without me even spotting her in a sea of other identically clothed students, then came break. I met Louise and we started chatting away about how annoying our Maths teacher Mr Rhodes was.

"Hey, Poppy!" the last voice I wanted to hear called, I felt my stomach churn and my hands fiddled with the hem of my blazer.

"Why the sudden name change?" she jeered, advancing towards me, the rest of her group laughing robotically to her. I bit my lip, feeling my chest restrict a little.

"Give it a rest, Amy," Louise said firmly beside me, I was thankful for her, my voice was stuck in my throat along with my courage.

"I'm surprised Rodgers, that your family would sink this low," she continued still possessing a chilling tone, she was leading up to something I knew it.

"It appears me and my family have a very different idea of what low means," she retorted, I could hear the anger in her voice rising. I placed my hand on her arm as a sign she needed to calm down. We weren't going to give her the satisfaction, I heard footsteps behind me and then the constant sound stops, I was practically force to turn around.

"So, what was it that made this lot adopt you, then?" she asked haughtily, I stared back at her rather blankly gulping back nerves. I felt my chest tighten and my lungs begin to hurt.

"Do us all a favour and keep your mouth shut?" Louise retorted, she was right next to me but she sounded so distant. I stared down at my hands noticing they were shaking, the familiar empty feeling reigniting in my stomach.

"Ok then, how about why your parents abandoned you? Financial troubles? Young parents?" she said slyly, hanging on every word she said. I didn't say anything but my eyes were locked with hers, the deadly green I had come to recognise all too well.

"No, my bet is, they couldn't stand the sight of you anymore and neither will the new so-called parents you have," she finished with a deadly almost venomous tone. Suddenly, my surrounding came back to me; the heavy weight of eyes on me, the sound of murmured sniggers, the pounding of my heart in my chest. I turned to look anywhere but her and teachers were stomping closer whilst students scattered and dispersed, small black hand-held radios clutched in hands. I had to get out. Now. I pushed through the few amounts of students who were naïve enough not to notice the teachers entrance. My speed quickly increased to a jog then I broke into a run. I bolted into the nearest unoccupied toilet cubicle and locked myself in, snapping the cheap plastic lock shut. I sank to the floor almost immediately, the shaking now spreading across my entire body, my breathing was becoming laboured and I couldn't catch my breath. I pressed my knees to my chest and buried my head into them, inhaling the faint lingering smell of my perfume. I couldn't help but let what she said consume me, but my attention was pulled away as more voices became enhanced and closer. The bell echoed symbolizing the end of break but I wasn't going anywhere soon. Then came an unexpected sharp knock at the cubicle door and then some murmured words which all mushed into a blur. There was no way I could respond; my breathing was out of control. The numbness in my throat had travelled to my hands and legs, I tried to turn them over but I just couldn't. It was like my body closed off everything refusing to work. My lungs sped with exhaustion but they felt like they had to keep going, inhaling and exhaling as quickly as possible because I simply wasn't getting anywhere.